4 SEPTEMBER 1999, Page 45

High life

Read and weep

Taki

I couldn't agree more. Offering millions of pounds for the head of a worthless liar like Clinton is inflationary. It debases a currency and can lead to a run on the Bank of England. Just look what happened to Iranian cash the moment they offered mil- lions for the head of Salman Rushdie. Peo- ple are not fools and they knew that Rushdie's skull was vastly overrated. But back to the second best news.

The ministry is issuing subpoenas for Clinton, Albright, Cohen, Blair, Chirac, Schroeder, Solana, Wesley Clark, plus the defence and foreign ministers of Britain, France and Germany. This is the way it should be. Especially in the case of Clinton and his poodle Blair, two men whose under- pants would turn brown if they heard a real shot fired in anger, but were Bomber Har- ris-like in their pursuit of violence against helpless civilians from 15,000 feet up. Let me remind you what the Great Liar said when Boris Yeltsin unleashed his brutal war against Chechnya: 'I compare the Russian president's actions to those of Abraham Lincoln fighting to preserve the Union.'

If any of you have doubts about how base Bill Clinton can be, read the above and weep. Needless to say, when Milosevic fought to preserve the Yugoslav union it was compared to the Holocaust. Kosovo is sacred to the Serbs, whereas Chechnya is to Russia what Monaco is to France, yet the big lie was repeated by most Western leaders.

Mind you, the Serb effort to bring war criminals like Clinton to justice is as likely to succeed as Jack Straw is to be confused with an aristocrat, but such are the joys of Clinton-Blair double standards. I cannot think of an article that painted as clear a picture of the scam that is human rights and war-crimes tribunals than the one by Kirsten Sellars in last week's Speccie:

The court acted as the judicial arm of Nato . . . and . . . was glad publicly to accept a bulging dossier of British intelligence on Kosovo from Robin Cook. By contrast, when a delegation from a Paris-based organisation tried to deliver a petition calling for Bill Clin- ton's indictment as a war criminal, they were told the prosecutors were 'too busy' to receive it.

Talk about kangaroo courts; this Yugoslav tribunal will make IRA rough justice seem Solomonic by comparison. And speaking of the scum that's the IRA, I find it amazing that people who have suf- fered so much from its violence are doing nothing about Mo Mowlam freeing the murderers. Just as people are doing noth- ing about the illegal arrest of General Pinochet, the saviour of his country and of countless British lives during the Falklands war, and IRA drug lords who are inflicting a regime of relentless thuggery and intimi- dation on their own communities with immunity. Obviously there is something very wrong here (as there is in the Human Rights Watch, which has compiled a list of ex-tyrants, namely Idi Amin, Jean-Claude Duvalier, Raul Cedras and Alfredo Stroessner, but has left out infamous leftist torturers and murderers like Castro and Mengistu).

I have said it before and will say it again: British people have had their noodles so scrambled by TV, Murdoch newspapers and football that they are willing to let little tin-pot dictators like Blair and company curtail their freedoms and turn them into docile Belgians. Straw has let crime run out of control and given amnesty to asylum seekers — the disgraceful Macpherson report gave the fuzz the coup de grace and he's being painted as a successful min- ister by the spin machine. Chris Patten I would not hire to run my tiny organ in New York — he would sell my best writers to the opposition for a song and hire women hacks who can't write for a fortune — and yet here he is, a man who has never failed to fail, heading a commission to do away with the RUC, the bravest and best police force ever to resist terrorism. Given the importance of Tara Palmer- Tomkinson's betrothal and break-up, I can see why the English are sleeping, but this is getting ridiculous. (Incidentally, I'm a sort of friend of Tara, but all the newspapers got it wrong about who her true love is: it is someone whose surname is Publicity.) My favourite country is Benin, where 25 suspected thieves and rapists were last week burned alive by mobs fed up with their government's non-protection. Com- pare this natural (and civilised) reaction to that of Britain. Rashid Musa, a bogus black asylum seeker, raped a young woman and a . boy while he was free and claiming hun- dreds of pounds a week in benefits. The Home Office — probably much too busy pursuing the Pinochet case — had failed to deport him. Now that he's in custody, 1 am sure Straw will find a way to make him comfortable at tax payers' expense.