Top-Level Strips

SPECTATOR COMPETITION No. 457: Report by Thomas Anthony Competitors were asked to supply extracts from the script of a strip cartoon suitable for Top People, covering three or four issues of The Times.

Two weeks' anxious study of the strips, together with an attempt to see what floating readers of The Times could become regulars if a strip was provided, has left me in doubt. Perhaps the old lady is right not to touch the stuff, and to go on relying on the fourth leader, the letters and Mr. Kirkland Bridge.

If she did try it, certain points would be sine qua non. First, as one competitor puts it, there must be 'a hero with whom the reader may identify himself.' I suppose a Sandy Arbuthnot, an Ashenden, a Father Brown or a Forsyte would go down better than George Gambol; and, regret- fully, I can't see Jane breasting her way into the Court Page. As to plot (if any), nothing could suit The Times better than to sit on the fence daily for weeks and months, refusing to do any think- ing for us. At the same time Marlowe's Law for strip-writers, given over 350 years ago, must be observed from the very first instalment : When two are stripped, long ere the course begin, We wish that one should lose, the other win.

These and other more or less deplorable criteria spelt death for a large number of entries at the first reading. 1 liked R. A. McKenzie's background, which gives good wish-fulfilment value to the top- minded; his plot encourages one to spend another fourpence tomorrow. Skilful as ever, R. Kennard Davis alone brings in the dull rumble of The Times shuffling into motion; it is surely right that the thing should galumph. I should certainly want to follow G. J. Blundell's hero Bob; how is he going to make out with that actress, in that family setting? These three entries win an award of two guineas each.

Of the runners-up, some of whom were very enterprising, I commend A. J. S., E. C. Jenkins, J. A. Lindon and Gloria Prince.

PRIZES

(R. A. MCKENZIE) LITTLE LORD ULTRAMARINE

Pale and biting his lip, little Lord Ultramarine relinquishes his mother's hand in the columned porch of Costly House. The Rolls, with uniformed chauffeur, waits.

In the car he Would like to cry, but English boys do not cry. Will the other fellows know his father was a Posthumous VC? He ,must never mention it.

The gates of Chrome clang to behind him. The leafy lawns and chestnut trees ere pleasant, but nobody comes to greet him. He wishes—but no !

A face, glimpsed briefly at an upper window. Strangely familiar. . . .

'You will be treated exactly as any, other boy, Ultramarine, understand? This is your IIA Form Master, Mr. Blayne-Coutts. And this is our Physical Training Instructor, Major Wilts.'

The face! Like' that of the man who betrayed hiss father! What does it all signify?

'Nobody except the Headmaster is allowed in that room, Ult'ramari'ne.'

Worried Under-Secretary (in taxi) thinks: 'The documents will be safe enough at Chrome. 1 couldn't take them back to the FO tonight, my mother is djjing.' He must not risk making a fool of himself. Wait . . . until .

father (in dream): 'Wake up, My "son There is a light in that room.' (R. KENNARD DAVIS) LORD CHANCELLOR (to Prime Minister): Atten-d ' keeps falling off—Peers have so many encl ments! What can we do? PRIME MINISTER: Why not create more Life Pa'''. —from the Variety Stage?

(Picture—Enter the Life Peeresses.) LORD CHANCELLOR: I am afraid our older nice might object

(Picture—Bishops objecting.)

PEER : Sorry--I promised to attend the House -4 bore! e ohd GOVERNMENT WHIP (to Bishop): You will coal vote tomorrow, my Lord? BISHOP: Alas! A most pressing engagement, -

(At Lord's)

0d51° MEMBER OF COMMITTEE: Why not get the -r - •

meet here? They might draw the public! (At House of Lords)

PEER: To preserve both of our great Nationa-rett/

,

tutions, I move that the Lords do meet to31°' at Lord's.

(At Lord's) LORD CHANCELLOR: I declare that the Noes h" NOTOUT!

(O. J. BLUNDELL)

THE D'ARCYS, A CHRONICLE OF UPPER FOI FIRST DAY Paul D'Arcy, aged sixty, Et01 o Balliol, something in the diplomatic service, Muriel, his wife. 'You might remind Bob, wne"nd comes in, that he's dining with the ambassador me tonight.' -Mrs. D'Arcy, aged forty-five, tall, fair, goh afid n°1 quite so diplomatic as her husband : 'But 1 thin" already has an engagement.' Mr. D'Arcy 'Then he must postpone it.' Esi ot I Air like SECOND DAY: Bob D'Arcy, twenty-two, Y01,1,11-,01r itio33 about town, elegant, charming, but not at 3" — ma tic, enters and is met by his mother. A aic Mrs. D'Arcy : 'Oh, Bob, Our father aske" the remind you that you're dining with him 311' Bongolian Ambassador tonight.' Bob : 'Ah, that's where he's -wrong. I'm dining ‘sil. Frobisher and his sister, Valerie.'

is he?' ore Mrs. D'Arcy : 'Who is Frobisher? He isn't ris ,,

Bob: 'Good Lord, no I He's a television wa"3",' I dr{ interested in my play. So is Valerie. She war° " in it.'

Mrs. D'Arcy : 'An actress!' • Vars THIRD DAY: Bob : 'You've got it all wrolikondcr a straight actress, a Dame one day, I shouldn't W —that is, if I can't persuade her to marry Ille* PRESIDENT OF MCC (to Committee): Gates are 01 again—we must find some new attraction! At. BISHOP (to Peer, at Test Match): Sec you here t°1"- row. I suppose?