Television
In the stars
Richard Ingrams
Writing two days before Britain's Day of Destiny I have to be careful what I say about the outcome. However, from the beginning of the campaign I have known that the result was going to be close, owing to what I like to call the Picarda Factor. Let me explain. Noel Picarda, (subsequently known as Noel Picarda-Kemp and now simply as Noel Kemp), an old friend and contemporary from the Varsity, is standing in the Tory interest at Lewisham, West. The Labour candidate Christopher Price has a majority of about 5000. Now the endearing thing about Noel is that everything he does in life is a failure. It follows, if I read God's plan aright, that he cannot be elected. Therefore if the Tories win they can only do so by a small majority. I was interested to see that Mr Russell Grant, founder and president of the British Astrological Psychic Society predicted an absolute majority of five for Mrs Thatcher (but by now we both may, perhaps, have been proved wrong).
Throughout the telly-campaign Callaghan has made a poor showing. Since the lorry-drivers strike, in fact, he has not been his old self. I saw him in the flesh on 22 January, when he presented the What The Papers Say awards, and thought the stuffing had gone out of him. When a Prime Minis" ter says 'I will not be panicked', you can take it as a signal to man the lifeboats. Then there was his recent Panorama interview with Robin Day when he took unnecessarY offence at being accused of 'shrinking' frora introducing legislation to deal with pickets' and insisted that Day withdrew the charge. Watching him during the last week or so has convinced me that he has lost all stomach., for the fight. He has looked rattled all uneasy. The mood of the electorate and of the three party leaders came over most death' in World in Action (Granada) on Mond* produced by David Kemp and Brian Marris. Five hundred voters from the marginal constituency of Bolton, East had been shir ped up to London by charabanc at Lord Bernstein's expense to put their questions to Steel, Thatcher and Callaghan. AS opposed to Callaghan, who had to deal with a restless, almost cynical, audience; Thatcher was treated with attention age respect. Her speeches to camera during the, campaign have been altogether atroci0us. if have seen her against a background ° Staffordshire figurines and antiquarianstyle books talking the most pitiful rubbish (put, no doubt into her mouth by stmllet emotional Daily Telegraph hack), ab°,u 'the country we all love so much' and We need 'to find peace and dignity again'. On the other hand when under interrogation she thrives. Like Harold Wilson, the politician whom to my mind she in°5t resembles, Thatcher is good at fieldirig questions and, unlike the Grocer, she is, in her headmistressy way, very persuasive. There is no doubt at all that Thatcher hasf given the more convincing performance ° the two. It was left to LWT's Weekend World (13i Walden prop) to remind us of the import°, fact that, behind the brave speeches, 101d' of the parties' plans, if put into effect, ‘voll'„ make the slightest difference to the disasi rous state of the nation. Mr Humphrey Burton is in the nevis again, I see. He will shortly present a Pr°gramme on the BBC about the famous Hermitage Art Gallery in Leningrad. The Pros' ramme is financed by the American Conic' pany NBC who originally wanted the BB to produce the programme. The Beeb how; ever 'for constitutional and financia' reasons' declined, but instead Mr Bort° passed the job on to an independent cool,' pany called Landseer. Landseer then hired Mr Burton to present the programme afin the BBC Arts Department (H. Burt% prop.) have now bought it. This seems a" extraordinarily convoluted way of goingt about things and I am left wondering wha the 'constitutional reasons' were which Pre; vented the BBC producing the progran„ in the first place. Perhaps Mr Burton wl" enlighten us in another of his amusing letters.
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