Q. Please advise us, Mary. My husband and I have
moved to a very beautiful part of the country and have been inviting people down from London to stay for the weekend. Our problem is that many of our friends have young children who adore feeding the ducks on our duck pond. Just when we are winding down after Sunday lunch we invariably have a chorus of childish pleas for a final trip to the duck pond. It is a five-minute walk to the pond, but once you have factored in assembling coats, hats and wellies and the crawling speed that toddlers proceed at, the clock has inevitably got round to 4.30 p.m. by the time the group is back at the house. Cue teatime. ‘Could I just quickly give them boiled eggs and soldiers, it will be too late by the time we get back to London?’ Is there a tactful way of saying, ‘Do you mind leaving immediately after lunch because, much as we love you, we will have had enough of you by then’? Should we take a tip from the Duchess of Windsor who, apparently, had a cushion prominently displayed in her salon with a clock face set at three and the legend ‘Time to Leave’ embroidered on it?
Name and address withheld A. No to the latter. Such a cushion would make guests feel uncomfortable. What you must do is to make a pleasant announcement that lunch will be served at one sharp so as to accommodate the toddler appetites and also because you have to rush off at three o’clock yourself to deal with some local matter. Sadly you will have to chase everyone out by then so you can set the burglar alarm.
If you have a problem, write to Dear Mary, c/o The Spectator, 56 Doughty Street, London WC1N 2LL.
Previous page