The Five-Pound Limerick

SPECTATOR COMPETITION No. 218 Report by Allan M. Laing SPECTATOR COMPETITION No. 218 Report by Allan M. Laing

Are good limericks still being concocted? The usual prize was offered for one worthy to rank with the classic limericks of Ronald Knox, Maurice Hare, Charles Inge and Anon. The ,subject was to be topical, the language English, and the limerick original. A great effort would be made not (o divide the prize.

PRIZE (£5)

There was a young man who said Ayer Has answered the atheist's prayer; For a Hell you can't verify Surely can't terrify—

At least, till you know that you're there.

SYLVIA ANTHONY

COMMENDED There was a young girl from a Mission Who was seized by the awful suspicion That original sin Didn't matter a pin

In an era of nuclear fissidn.

A. H. BAYNES

A cleaner at Harwell named Mabel

Touched a thing with "Don't touch" on the label:

Her immediate feeling On hitting the ceiling

Was said to be disagree-able.

A. D. S. J. M. HALL

A good limerick, in my view, should have correct scansion, accurate rhyming and straightforward syntax (no inversions). These desiderata are, of course, a mere beginning; but it is a beginning which many of the entrants for this competition have neglected. One competitor, who sent in fifteen limericks, most of them otherwise good, contrived to equip each and all of them with a metrical limp. That sort of thing made it easy for me to eliminate a great many of the 200 limer- icks submitted. Among the rest I looked not only for that smoothly running inevit- ability which characterises the best examples, but for the inspired topical idea which is of lasting interest. In this search, 1 reduced the finalists to seven—Sylvia Anthony, A. H. Baynes, A. D. S. J. M. Hall, R. Ken- nard Davis, W. Bernard Wake, A. M. Sayers and Frank Pavry; and I now recom- mend that the prize of £5 should go to the first of these; Sylvia Anthony, whose limerick seems to me to have a better chance, by a shade, than the others of reach- ing classic permanence. Of course, I may be wrong, and I hope the Editor may find space to print a few of the better ones among the unsuccessful entries, besides those of the seven named above, so that readers may come to their own conclusions.

Through an error in simple addition.

W. BERNARD WAKE

There once was a wise politician Who said, "1 have faith in my mission. But if this bally bomb Kills the fellow it's from— Then I'm placed in an awkward position.''

A. M. SAYERS

Doctor Fish, one of Harwell's bright sparks' Chose November the Fifth for some larks; But o'crweening ambition And nuclear fission Spread Fish on the county of Berks.

FRANK I'AVRY

Though modestly draped, the bronze Torso By Moore's stirring up a furore, so Whoever displays an Exhibit more brazen

Risks Moore's tnoreean's fate, only more so, D. L. L. crAida

There once was a chap who said, "Sec, Only matter exists (Q.E.D.) : We are nothing but blobs ..."

Well, I ask you, dear Hobbes, How would you account for J. B.? SIR PATRICK Low There was a young curate of Bicester Who once kicester friend of his sicester: She did not resicest,

But she said, "Oh, desicest:

You must not do that, Micester Lic(stk.r. K. E. SUlcl irre