COMPETITION

Mental slugging

Jaspistos

IN COMPETITION NO. 2058 you were invited to provide a radio commentary, in the breathless style of a boxing or football one, describing a 'lightning' chess match in which each contestant has ten seconds to move.

Behind this competition lurks a memory of being told that the Russian grandmaster Nimzowitsch once broke a leg playing chess. Years later, I asked Raymond Keene if this was so and he reported back that it was a legend. Is there a historical instance of one player striking another in a tournament? My own chess years were almost unmarked by victories, partly because I insisted on attempting spectacular and discredited gambits, such as Zukertort's eccentric sac- rificial opening, partly because I had no patience for the end game, and mainly because I have a feeble chess mind. I once watched the 12-year-old Spanish boy Pomar play the ancient grandmaster Tartakower in Leicester Square. Pomar, with bril- liantined head and electric-blue socks, looked intense and lethal; Tartakower, with unkempt whiskers and in a soup- stained cardigan, looked vague and inof- fensive. I thought it would be a rapid case of parricide. It was a long game, though, and ended with the prodigy dying by slow strangulation in the meshes of a huge spider-web. The competition was not very popular or successful. Mea culpa for setting it. The four prizewinners, printed below, take £30 each, and the bonus bottle of The Macallan The Malt Scotch Whisky goes to Alanna Blake. Happy Scotch opening!

And the clock starts... now. Pawn to king's 4,,1 think... A swift reply from Macavity. Katzkin s puzzled already. Come on, come on. The umpire's finger is... Just in time! Macavity ofl the defensive again. Looks like the Pinochet Pincer. Shoved that knight with considerable force. Almost knocked over a black pawn. Something's happening. The Swedish umpire has stopped the clock. He's having a word with Katzkin. Seems to be complaining about the Russian's beard. They're off again. Black, white, black, white again. What a speed! Several men are off the board now I can't quite see — at least four pawns and... Wow! Could you hear that? Both contestants trying to move simultaneously. Cracked their heads together. There's an alter- cation. Three men on the floor... (Manna Blake) —and what a tournament this has been... Pushov, the Russian, leading Bhugarov the, er, Other Russian by an astounding 4-31/2... 131ngarov to play... seconds ticking away, eight, lune_ he's going for kingside knight and yes, he moves it... gives a knowing little smirk to his sponsors... . Pushov grimacing now, his hand trembling above the black, er, pieces. How will he counter White's furious opening gambit?... fingers descend to the phalanxed pawns, make contact and. — oh I say, he's calling j'adoube! Pushov has claimed the first j'adoube of the championship. Let's see that again in slow motion... never have i witnessed such revolutionary tactics at grandmaster level... Bhugarov not at all haPPy.,. this is one malcontent Muscovite...

he's shouting at the adjudicator, something in Russian presumably... and translation's coming through, it's, it's: "I'm not playing and I want my Mummy". (Mike Morrison) 'We've had everything so far. e4, c6 — the Caro- Kann. Knight c3, g6; d4 — another central pawn push — d5 here would have been the Gurgen- idze but Thirumurugan Thiruchelvam played bishop g7. f4, d5 now would be the Gurgenidze Variation of the Modern... '.

Bzzz!

'Luke McShane has played bishop c4! Jon, isn't this the most fantastic game of chess you've seen?'

'Well, I wouldn't quite say that, Ray... "d5 now would be Ghinda-Schneider, Dortmund 1986 — all these moves by the way are in BCO2 published by Batsford.'

Bzzz!

`Murugan plays d6! I can't believe it! Jon?'

'Knight f3 is the quiet move here, but Luke may want to be more aggressive. We shall have to wait and see.'

`Murugan looks at Luke. Luke looks at the ceiling.'

Bzzz!

'Luke picks up his queen. He puts it in on f3. It's the Monkey's Bum — the first time ever on radio!' 'This line...'

Bzzz! (Gordon Gwilliams) 'Well, Brian, this match is really coming to life. Big Nigel, playing the Budapest Gambit, is ram- paging all over the board. Seven of his opponent's pieces are already taking an early bath.., and now, a thrust by the rook down the right wing'.

'Pure Capablanca, Des. I'm looking at the replay, What a move... breath-taking'.

The crafty Boris blocks that brilliant attack... and here comes Nige again, urged on by this fanatical home crowd. My goodness, what courage... he's sacrificing a knight to blast a way through the defensive wall. Check!! The surly Bulgar immediately cuts down this gallant strik- er, but the trap is sprung.... Yes, c'mon, Nige, this is it... Yes! Checkmate!'

'Yeah, fantastic, Des. Super move. As the scribbler Raymond Keene might put it, there was absolutely no defence against the power of the black fianchettoed bishop on b7. The boy

Nige done well, hasn't he?' (Graham Gilbert)