7 MAY 2005

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PORTRAIT OFTHE WEEK B ritain held a general election, except in

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South Staffordshire, where the death of the Liberal Democrat candidate after ballot papers had been sent out required the holding of a by-election later. More than five million...

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Not Howard’s end

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T he Spectator appears as the electorate goes to the polls, and any analysis of the outcome must therefore be hypothetical. Some points can be made with assurance. The first is...

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I was sitting in Holland Park in the sun on Bank

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Holiday Monday. Just in front of me, a group of young people were having a picnic: crisps, processed cheese, tortilla chips, pepperoni — all washed down with CocaCola. There...

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Why it is splendid to be a Tory this weekend

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A s The Spectator went to press this week, the Conservative party hovered on the edge of the greatest electoral catastrophe of its history: a third consecutive election defeat...

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A nother week of this, and I think I would have

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ended up voting Labour. Ann Toward, the widow of Guardsman Anthony Wakefield, who was killed near Amarah, southern Iraq, on Monday, said that Tony Blair was to blame for her...

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The way ahead for the Conservatives

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Simon Heffer says that Michael Howard must remain Tory leader, and the party must commit itself again to small government and deregulation I f we political pundits were truly...

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Mind your language

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I was surprised by the number of people who disliked the Daily Telegraph ’s headline on the election of Cardinal Ratzinger to the papacy: ‘“God’s rottweiler” is the new pope’. I...

Sorry, the doctor can’t see you now

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Susan Hill says that Primary Care Trusts have left country people without adequate medical care T en years ago this magazine printed an article in which I described how I almost...

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Girls just want to have boys

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Stephanie Sprague says forget about feminism: there is a marked preference for male babies ‘I f my next child’s a boy, I’ll stop. If not, then I’ll keep trying until I get one.’...

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How we betray the young

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Disruption in our schools is a serious problem, says Roger Graef , but adults must accept their share of the blame W e were told this week by Coca-Cola GB that most of today’s...

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The trouble with Michael

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Leo McKinstry says that Michael Portillo — scourge of the Tory establishment — has much in common with another political failure, Lord Rosebery I f fate had taken a different...

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Losing their religion

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Brendan O’Neill says that Lapsed, or Recovering, Catholics are wallowing in their victim status now that a traditionalist has been elected Pope L apsed Catholics are sorely...

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Spectator Classics Cup

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Some of the offerings for the first round of this year’s Classics Cup had me laughing so hard I almost disgraced myself in the GNER dining car somewhere between Peterborough and...

Medal power

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Paul Robinson says that Johnson Beharry, VC, is a very special person, but awards for gallantry are not always as special as they once were P inning a Victoria Cross on the...

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The Bible contains the earliest example of a non-interventionist economic policy

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I f this election campaign proved anything, it was that we would have been unwise to rely on it for any ‘issues’. That is ‘issues’ defined, as they should be in elections, as...

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All eyes on the Bank’s weather-vane — this one could go to a recount

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A t last some excitement. The next vote is on Monday, and this one could go to a recount. All eyes will be on the weather-vane in the Bank of England’s Court Room, which shows...

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‘Where’s the ball?’ ‘Out of the ground, sir.’

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T his time of year my ancient love of cricket stirs in my blood. A vivid memory of my father saying to me unexpectedly one bright crystal morning when I was six, ‘Not a cloud in...

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Made in Britain

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From Denis MacShane Sir: ‘Today, the Mother of Parliaments has lost half its power, with Brussels making half of British laws,’ says Anthony Browne (‘Parliament of eunuchs’, 30...

Messy Labour

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From Julian Pack Sir: Peter Oborne’s article ‘Victory will prove a humiliating experience for Tony Blair’ (Politics, 30 April) is another outstanding piece. Mr Oborne never...

Cheltenham races

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From Ralph Prothero Sir: Germaine Greer implied, in her article about William Shakespeare (‘The man who made England’, 23 April), that John Taylor, who stood as the Tory...

On the beech

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From David W.G. Taylor Sir: It’s hard not to share Paul Johnson’s enthusiasm for beech trees (And another thing, 30 April). However, in southern England the beech ( Fagus...

Morality needs theology

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From Dr Sophie Botros Sir: Professor Simon Blackburn (Letters, 30 April) runs together two separate questions: does morality need an objective underpinning and, if so, does it...

‘Tiger’ roars

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From Naim Attallah

Sir: Caroline Moorehead’s review of my book The Boy in

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England (Books, 30 April) is fair enough. She is certainly not a fan. But why the continued obsession with Jennie Erdal’s Ghosting , which is more of a fiction than a memoir?...

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Made in Britain

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From Denis MacShane Sir: ‘Today, the Mother of Parliaments has lost half its power, with Brussels making half of British laws,’ says Anthony Browne (‘Parliament of eunuchs’, 30...

Messy Labour

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From Julian Pack Sir: Peter Oborne’s article ‘Victory will prove a humiliating experience for Tony Blair’ (Politics, 30 April) is another outstanding piece. Mr Oborne never...

Cheltenham races

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From Ralph Prothero Sir: Germaine Greer implied, in her article about William Shakespeare (‘The man who made England’, 23 April), that John Taylor, who stood as the Tory...

On the beech

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From David W.G. Taylor Sir: It’s hard not to share Paul Johnson’s enthusiasm for beech trees (And another thing, 30 April). However, in southern England the beech ( Fagus...

Moral problems

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From Dr Sophie Botros Sir: Professor Simon Blackburn (Letters, 30 April) runs together two separate questions: does morality need an objective underpinning and, if so, does it...

‘Tiger’ roars

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From Naim Attallah Sir: Caroline Moorehead’s review of my book The Boy in England (Books, 30 April) is fair enough. She is certainly not a fan. But why the continued obsession...

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Is Saxony better than Tuscany?

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John Laughland says that German castles are ripe for restoration T o slake the British thirst for property investment, estate agents are serving up ever more exotic countries...

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Game of the name

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Michael McMahon A ‘Rose Cottage’ by any other name would smell as sweet, but it probably wouldn’t sell as sweetly if that other name happened to be ‘Osokozi’ or ‘Dunramblin”....

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Upwardly mobile

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Iain Murray I n a land already bristling with rights, many of them offensive to reason and common sense, it is perhaps wilful to draw attention to yet another. But every...

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Fair shares

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David Lovibond I n his book, The Likes of Us Michael Collins argued that the white working class was the only group that could be ridiculed and despised without risk of...

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Hot property

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Like the round-shouldered, haggardlooking subject of a TV makeover programme who emerges at the end buffed, styled and botoxed into one of life’s pearly-toothed, wrinkle-free...

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The proximity of death

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Philip Hensher A L ONG W AY D OWN by Nick Hornby Penguin/Viking, £17.99, pp. 256, ISBN 0670888249 ✆ £15.99 (plus £2.25 p&p) 0870 800 4848 N ick Hornby is a thoughtful writer,...

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Sparks from sifted embers

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Sebastian Smee T HE S EA by John Banville Picador, £16.99, pp. 264, ISBN 0330483285 ✆ £14.99 (plus £2.25 p&p) 0870 800 4848 P rompted by a dream, Max Morden, the elderly...

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A shortage of intelligence

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M. R. D. Foot H ITLER ’ S S PY C HIEF : T HE W ILHELM C ANARIS MYSTERY by Richard Bassett Weidenfeld, £20, pp. 319, ISBN 0297846874 ✆ £18 (plus £2.25 p&p) 0870 800 4848 T his...

Fine and mellow

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Patrick Skene Catling W ITH B ILLIE by Julia Blackburn Cape, £17.99, pp. 354, ISBN 0224075896 ✆ £15.99 (plus £2.25 p&p) 0870 800 4848 H aving obsessively admired Billie...

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Love lies bleeding

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Digby Durrant T HE T RIAL OF T RUE L OVE by William Nicholson Doubleday, £12.99, pp. 269, ISBN 0385608705 V £11.99 (plus £2.25 p&p) 0870 800 4848 A writer, John Dearborn, known...

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Tricky regime change

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Anne Somerset A FTER E LIZABETH by Leanda de Lisle HarperCollins, £20, pp. 348, ISBN 0007126646 ✆ £18 (plus £2.25 p&p) 0870 800 4848 A t Queen Elizabeth’s funeral in April...

Two Funerals

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‘Such a beautiful service,’ everyone said, But you missed your own party, because you were dead. We wolfed down the canapés, drained the champagne, And you’ll be remembered...

Psychic jaunts and jollities

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D. J. Taylor B EYOND B LACK by Hilary Mantel Fourth Estate, £16.99, pp. 452, ISBN 0007157754 ✆ £14.99 (plus £2.25 p&p) 0870 800 4848 I t was always on the cards, to use a...

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Love is all you need

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Lee Langley T HE A LCHEMY OF D ESIRE by Tarun J. Tejpal Picador, £12.99, pp. 518, ISBN 033043554X ✆ £11.99 (plus £2.25 p&p) 0870 800 4848 ‘A t last, a new and brilliantly origi...

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The slog of high command

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Raymond Carr D OUGLAS H AIG edited by Gary Sheffield and John Bourne Weidenfeld, £25, pp. 550, ISBN 0297847023 ✆ £23 (plus £2.25 p&p) 0870 800 4848 A lmost every day throughout...

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Lord of misrule

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Ian Garrick Mason DISNEYWAR by James B. Stewart Simon & Schuster, £20, pp. 572, ISBN 0743263812 ✆ £18 (plus £2.25 p&p) 0870 800 4848 A ccording to the business press, the age...

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The black market of the ocean

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Andro Linklater T HE W RECKERS by Bella Bathurst HarperCollins, £16.99, pp. 326, ISBN0007170327 ✆ £14.99 (plus £2.25 p&p) 0870 800 4848 S hortly before dawn on the 22 March...

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Charity hopeth all things

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Tim Congdon T HE E ND OF P OVERTY by Jeffrey Sachs Penguin/ Allen Lane, £20, pp. 396, ISBN 0713998008 ✆ £18 (plus £2.25 p&p) 0870 800 4848 S hould rich nations give to poor...

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Revelation of space and time

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Andrew Lambirth on an exhibition by one of the country’s foremost sculptors F orms in Light and Shade, an exhibition of Nigel Hall’s new work at Annely Juda Fine Art (23 Dering...

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Visual agility

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John McEwen Avant-Garde Graphics 1918–1934 Estorick Collection of Modern Italian Art, 39a Canonbury Square, N1, until 5 June, and touring I t is difficult to place oneself in...

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Scottish dynamism

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Felicity Owen I t takes dynamic leadership and a favourable political climate to transform a small, long-established art institution into an international force, yet this has...

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Friends reunited

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Charles Spencer N ow all the youth of England are on fire, declares the Chorus in Henry V . It wasn’t quite like that at the Royal Albert Hall on Monday night when Cream played...

Welsh legacy

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Russell Chamberlin C onwy in north Wales is among the most enchanting of our small towns. It’s like a toy fort, its encircling walls surviving intact until Thomas Telford had...

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Out of touch

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Toby Young The Far Pavilions Shaftsbury The Birthday Party Duchess Burlesque Arts E very once in a while, a musical comes along that is so breathtakingly awful such a...

Sonic shambles

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Peter Phillips T he television broadcasts of the late Pope’s funeral and the marriage of Prince Charles, coming as they did on consecutive days, gave the opportunity to compare...

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Lost in space

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Mark Steyn The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy PG, selected cinemas I came to Hitchhiker’s Guide somewhat late and by the time I did its worshippers were so devoted I never...

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Heroic success

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Michael Tanner Ulysses Comes Home Birmingham Opera Company The Knot Garden Linbury Studio, Royal Opera House H ow should opera, and particular operas, be made ‘relevant’? And...

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Death in Venice

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Michael Vestey W hen you are so addicted to writers’ works and feel bereft after finishing all their novels, you become restless and fretful. It happened to me last year with...

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Sugar fix

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James Delingpole T he other night I went to see a man about a piano, a big German upright for which he’s asking £1,800 including delivery and first tuning. I know exactly what...

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How to win

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Taki T rust Tony Blair to call an election the day after The Spectator goes to press: 5 May is a lousy day for conservatives the world over. Karl Marx was born 5 May 1818 in...

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Prize night

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Jeremy Clarke I t seems to be the season for the West Ham football hooligan memoir book launch. Last week it was Bill Gardner’s autobiography, Good Afternoon, Gentlemen , the...

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SIMON HOGGART

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F or this month’s minibar we make a welcome return to The Vintry, the co-operative of wine lovers who discover their own favourites — chiefly in France, but increasingly...

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Kelly’s eye

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FRANK KEATING D otted about the house is the occasional sporting print. Flash, bang, wallop, what a photograph! At the top of our staircase is Herbert Fishwick’s imperishable...

Q. My wife and I have been invited to an

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election-night party being given by neighbours of the opposite political persuasion to ourselves. We are very fond of these people but they are very much New Order and we are...

Q. While taking a mid-morning walk near a local school,

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I was confronted by half a dozen teenaged girls wielding cigarettes and asking for a light, please? I was uncertain whether to make a hostile report to the head, bearing in mind...

Q. Both my daughters are learning to play the piano

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which is situated in our entrance hall. This means that, whenever my husband and I are bumbling about looking for wallets and other key things we need before leaving the house,...