13 FEBRUARY 1988, page 47

Low Life

Poetic licence Jeffrey Bernard I am a little disappointed that the prop- rietors of this distinguished journal didn't have the wit to send me to Sydney for the Australian......

High Life

Writer's block Taki I 've been a good boy all week, laying off the booze and staying away from Annabel's and Tramp, but the Ballad of Pentonville Gaol is doing a Schubert's......

Television

Celebrity grill Wendy Cope I n last Monday's Guardian a Tewkes- bury firm advertised for a Middleweight Writer with Heavyweight Potential. If they had meant it literally, I......