26 APRIL 1997, page 63

Spectator Sport

Keepers weepers Simon Barnes JAMES the Worst; Calamity James; Cow- boy Keeper; Look Back in Clanger. Who'd be a goalkeeper? David James, goalie for Liverpool, had a poor match......

Your Problems Solved

Dear Mary.. . Q. Recently at a party I was asked to dance by a very unattractive MP. I did not enjoy the physical intimacy of the experience nor being the cynosure of all eyes......