Q. I have neighbours who are very close friends and
I go often to their house, occasionally dropping in but usually by invitation. They are always wonderfully hospitable but, being foreigners, they have very odd telephone manners. They often receive phone calls while I am there, and always answer them — understandably enough — but then carry on lengthy conversations over many minutes, while I am left wondering why the invited guest in the flesh is neglected for the uninvited caller on the telephone. How can I persuade these dear friends to drop this habit without offending them?
Name and address withheld A. Next time this happens, when your neighbour completes her call, say in admiring tones, ‘Gosh, I wish I was able to be like you. If that were me, and you were in my house, I would have totally forgotten what you and I had been talking about ten minutes before and I wouldn’t be able to resume the conversation once the call had finished!’ Continue to exult, ‘But you must be able to get so much done by being able to concentrate on two people at once and field all your telephone calls at the same time as you’re entertaining someone. I wish I could multi-task like that!’ Probe with terrier-like tenacity about her methods of juggling so much data in her brain and, when forced to consider them, it should dawn on her that perhaps she has breached British etiquette. If not, why not bring out your own mobile and try to process some business calls the next time the outrage occurs.
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