Q. I am the male partner in what is now
known as a reconstructed family. There are two children with an absent father who comes from a family where table manners are not deemed to be important. The children are delightful and well-mannered but the daughter seems to have been rather influenced by her alternate weekends at her father's home. Although I pretend to be open-minded about table manners,! know in my heart of hearts that using the pen grip with a knife may well be a social obstacle in the future. How, Mary, do I impress upon her the importance of good table manners without appearing to be a snob?
J.E., by email A. Why not suggest a game of 'Mysteries' next time you are on a boring car journey with the children? Object: one person has to suggest a great unsolved mystery.; the others have to compete to come up with the most interesting explanation. For example: 'What happened to the passengers on the Marie Celeste?' What are crop circles?' Then, casually, 'Why is it considered social death in some of the most friendly and liberal-minded circles of English society to hold your knife like a pencil when you are eating or to generally eat using the wrong tools?' Then sit back and let the children mull over this mystery for as long as it takes them to solve it.
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