GENERAL KNOWLEDGE

[This contribution has been awarded the prize of -r2 29. offered for the best reply to the verses under the same heading published in our last issue.—En. The Spectator.] IF the fifty-four Powers met on the tenth,

And the capital always were Dublin,

The number of times would be 2 to the nth,

Provided the wicked ceased troublin'.

Arms and the hooded men I sing, A Parsee and a painter, A woman's guide, a Burman chief, A skilful ringside feinter.

One-sixth of a Batman makes an Oke, And forty Funts a Pood ; While I have it from a knowing bloke— There are forty Perch in a Rood.

Equal at half-time stand the scores— Three tries and one dropped goal ;

But a crooner never should open his mouth—

He ought to be put on the dole.

We must call in the Yard to compel him to Swing ; The Senegalese say their plight is,

They don't get the rest that their bedtime should brin3. On account of attacks of flea-bitis.

A rolling stone collects no Moss ; Herb. Morrison's the best ; When memory fails and words are cross 'Tis no time for a jest.

By heating up coal you get coke and tar ; The ratio you are scanning Is an improper fraction ; economists are More planned against than planning.

I haven't a scruple, but think it amount; To just about twenty grains ; A Hogshead of Mead, by most accounts, Fifty-four gallons contains ; One hundred and twenty gallons are found In a Puncheon of Brandy—what fun !

A Pocket of Hops is, say, two hundred pound, And a Fodder is all but a ton ; A Catly in China's a pound-and-a-third ; A Cor is ten Ephas, I glean ; In a Chang there are nearly twelve feet, I have heard ; In a Kilderkin, gallons eighteen.

" Film actress robbed," I this construe ; The gaggle should be gagged ; Queen of the South would see their way through If all the goals they bagged.

A Moslem trust, a battered dish, An Arab Moslem race, Early works from the printing press, The mid-month is their place.

Zeberzed's an island air

Where Mamelukes s'amuscnt ; The Palais comes from Hammersmith ;

Yom Kippur saves the Jews.

The Aryan race is beyond accusation ; The future of Sago's obscene ;

The past of a Dago's an irregular formation ; 0 bone piscis, I ween.

Bowling is seen at Bowling Green,

Men crossing Tees at Stockton, The happy medium's struck at Sheen, Field games are played at Flockton.

The record in velocity

Is held by .Britain's spurt. There is no cost in £ s. d. Because they stake their shirt.

The Thane is not a Recorder of Fife But he may be High Sheriff of Thanet.

If you really must know the Truth about Life, You must go to my wife's Auntie Janet.

IVOR THOMAS.