4 SEPTEMBER 2004

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PORTRAIT LLJ .7 1 T he Royal Mail paid £.50 million in

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compensation after meeting none of its 15 targets in the first quarter of the financial year, delivering only 88.3 per cent of first-class letters on time between April and...

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Jobs for life

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o the parents of Victoria Climbie. the eight-year-old girl who died in 2000 after being battered by her great-aunt and great-aunt's boyfriend in a seedy Haringey council flat,...

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SIMON HEFFER

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Nv henever I feel psychotically depressed about this country — which, as I contemplate another nine years of Labour rule, is more and more often — I find myself being thankful...

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A Labour landslide will be terrible for the trusting Mr Brown

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PETER OBORNE -/ – t was beyond a shadow of doubt an outstanding silly season, the best by far in recent years, with an excellent crop of stories. Leaving aside the daily...

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CHARLES MOORE

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t is terribly disheartening for those of us who want the Conservatives to be ready to govern again to see them stuck in a cul-de-sac of their own choosing about the Iraq war....

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Way to go, Dubya

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Boris Johnson, at the Republican convention, says that Bush's conservative credentials are not always convincing but his optimism is unfailingly inspiring New York C ome off...

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Help me, wonga

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Rod Liddle says that Mark 'Thatcher's latest difficulties reveal an extraordinary, even hilarious, degree of corruption and humbug in the West T his is a great story. It manages...

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Mind your language

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New Zealanders were amused to read that Mr David Blurikett required them to show fluency in English if they apply for British citizenship. New Zealand has produced some fine...

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Why Europe must have the Bomb

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Stephen Haseler on what the EU must do if it is to remain secure when the American troops have gone home A merica's decision to pull troops out of Europe and the Far East...

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Bad and bored

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Britain is sick and tired, says Theodore Dalrymple: there is no religion, no culture and no patriotism — and not even leisure can lighten our burden 1 n 1850, the famous French...

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Regional forecast

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Martin Vander Weyer says that Labour is introducing regional government by stealth 1 f John Prescott needed an easy-toread précis of the Electoral Commission's findings on...

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Mummy can't buy you love

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A new law will make it easier for 'birth mothers' to trace their adopted children. But Mary Kenny wonders whether that is fair either to the children or to their 'adoptive...

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New life in a

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land of death Radek Sikorski sees the transformation one warlord has brought to a part of Afghanistan devastated by the Soviets in 1987 1 had long wanted to return to...

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Globophobia

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A weekly survey of world restrictions on freedom and free trade With the Athens games out of way, the Boycott Beijing campaign is now in full swing, arguing that China's lousy...

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It is now up to Lord Black to prove his innocence to the rest of the world

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STEPHEN GLOVER T he excesses of Lord Black, former proprietor of the Telegraph Group, which owns this magazine, are mind-boggling. Of course they have not yet been proven in a...

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Dare to impeach

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From Bruce Sharson Sir: It is intolerable that a country so proud of its commitment to open democratic government has had to wait some 30 years after entering the bosom of the...

From Cedric Talbot Sir: Peter °borne is being disingenuous about

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Blair and WMD. Much as I dislike Labour and all their works, I do believe that Blair did what he did in Iraq because he thought it was right, whatever their weaponry might turn...

Greek supremacy

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From Michael Minas Sir: I agree entirely (for a change) with everything Taki says about the Athens Olympics (High life, 28 August). Unlike him I had to watch the Games on...

Pipe dreams

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From Lady Powell Sir: A very brief response to Mrs Taliani's letter (28 August) about my water supply problem in Italy. Mrs Taliani gives her address as Vienna, so it's hard to...

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Character assassination

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From Annie Machon Sir: As the partner of David Shayler, the former MI5 officer and whistle-blower, I read with interest Peter Obome's article (Politics, 21 August). I...

The Viceroy's verdict

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From John Osman Sir: I read with great interest the well-measured review by my former BBC colleague, Michael Vestey, of the Radio Four programme The Last Viceroy (Arts, 28...

Perils of illegibility

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From Harry Mount Sir: Due to my incomprehensible scrawlings on a proof, it wrongly emerged in my review of Alan Watkins's Brief Lives (Books, 28 August) that William Rees-Mogg...

Pre-Waugh

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From Tony Petry Sir: Hugh Massingberd may think that 'Bright Young Things' is a 'journalistic solecism' (Letters, 21 August), but the phrase antedates Vile Bodies. In The Age...

Fossil fuel shortfall

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From Austin Spreadbury Sir: Nick Reeves is right to be pleased that renewables could meet 21 per cent of Europe's energy needs (Letters, 28 August). But if we can't burn fossil...

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A peep into the heaving compost heap of the PC countryside

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PAUL tiNSON ow are things down on your farm, Giles?' Not too bad, Arthur. Of course, we don't do cattle, sheep or arable since we were declared an Environmentally Sensitive...

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Republicans know how dangerous it is to say what you mean

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FRANK JOHNSON 0 ne of the amusements which any Republican convention offers is the spectacle of a party, in the coveted prime time of the television evening, pretending to be...

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A most

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superior street Antonia Fraser THE BOOKSHOP AT 10 CURZON STREET LETTERS BETWEEN NANCY MITFORD AND HEYWOOD HILL, 1952-1973 edited by John Saumarez Smith Frances Lincoln,...

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Three murders and a funeral

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Digby Durrant CASE HISTORIES by Kate Atkinson Doubleday, 07.99, pp. 304, ISBN 0385607997 t 115.99 (plus 12.25 p&p) 0870 800 4848 F amilies and what time does to them are Kate...

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Shock tactics in love and life

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Anne Chisholm THE RARE AND THE BEAUTIFUL by Cressida Connolly Fourth Estate, £16.99, pp. 281, ISBN 1841156337 £14.99 (plus 12.25 p&p) 0870 800 4848 I n this enthusiastic study...

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Among the pretenders

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Alberto Manguel MAGIC SEEDS by V.S. Naipaul Picador, £16.99, pp. 304, ISBN 0330485202 £14.99 (plus £2.25 p&p) 0870 800 4848 m r Herbert Spencer was an angry man. When he was...

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The gringo's progress

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Lee Langley THE ZIGZAG WAY by Anita Desai Chatto, £12.99, pp, 192, ISBN 0701177438 . r.; 111.99 (plus 12.25 p&p) 0870 800 4848 I n his History of the Conquest of Mexico,...

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The legacy of where and when

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Alexander McCall Smith SCRIBBLING THE CAT: TRAVELS WITH AN AFRICAN SOLDIER by Alexandra Fuller Picador, £16.99, pp. 269, ISBN 033043327X £14.99 (plus 12.25 p&p) 0870 800 4848...

A fusillade from the last ditch

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Jane Gardam GOD HAS NOT CHANGED by Alice Thomas Ellis Burns & Oates, £9.99, pp. 180, ISBN 0860123596 H ere are 90 furious little spats about our extraordinary and inadequate...

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Service with a smile

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Elfreda Pownall THE PEOPLE'S CHEF: ALEXIS SOYER, A LIFE IN SEVEN COURSES by Ruth Brandon Wiley, £16.99, pp. 320, ISBN 0470869917 E14.99 (plus £2.25 p&p) 0870 800 4848 A lexis...

In Flight from the Green Forest

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In the green forest of Petropolis The Great Lady of the Madrugada Walked with me the boundaries of her fazenda. Toucans watched the paths that joined the valleys. Her...

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Glory in East Grinstead

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Anthony Daniels THE RECONSTRUCTION OF WARRIORS: ARCHIBALD MCINDOE, THE ROYAL AIR FORCE AND THE GUINEA PIG CLUB by E.R. Mayhew Greenhill Books, £18.99, pp. 256, ISBN 1853676101...

The return of the rotters

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Olivia Glazebrook THE CLOSED CIRCLE by Jonathan Coe Viking, £17.99, pp. 448, ISBN 0670892548 r, £15.99 (plus £2.25 p&p) 0870 800 4848 F inishing The Rouen' Club and finding...

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Murder on tape

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Robert Cooper A ttempting to solve a P.D. James mystery is rather like trying to find the winner of a fiendishly problematical horse race. In The Murder Room (Chivers Audio...

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The Questing Volt

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T hepublication this autumn of Fathers and Sons — Alexander Waugh's hugely entertaining book about his family — revives in fresh detail the story of one of the great literary...

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The price is right or is it?

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Martin Gaylord asks why people get so worked up about auction prices W hy do auction prices upset people? Or, to put it another way, how much is too much to pay for a picture?...

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Brilliant and unpredictable

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Andrew Lambirth Walter Richard Sickert: The Human Canvas Abbot Hall Art Gallery, Kendal, Cumbria, until 30 October W alter Richard Sickert (1860-1942), known as Walter up to...

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Floreat Etona

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John McEwen Musica Etonensis, Music and Musicians from Eton 1440-2004 Brewhouse Gallo); Eton College, until 3 October y ou do not have to be an Etonian to gain pride and much...

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Unforgettably uplifting

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Michael Tanner B y the end of the first week, the Edinburgh Festival needed an operatic triumph fairly badly. The Weber trilogy was nobly conceived and worthily performed, but...

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Weather woes

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Ursula Buchan I t has been rotten weather for gardening here, so far. Rain in late April, too hot weather in early June, then cold nights, drizzle and cloud, followed by...

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Backstage warfare

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Peter Phillips O ne of the subtler pleasures of summer festivalling is to experience the undertow of dislike, amounting to hatred sometimes, of presenters towards their...

Preserving our heritage

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Toby Young Twelfth Night Albeiy Faliraki — The Greek Tragedy Lyric Studio The Woman in Black Fortune W hat will happen to British culture when the United Kingdom disintegrates...

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A misfit to the rescue

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Mark Steyn Hellboy 12A, selected cinemas T he time: 1944. The place: a small island somewhere near Scotland. In a desperate effort to win the war. the Nazis and their special...

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An innocent abroad

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Michael Vestey y ou might think that there was little more to say about the life of P.G. Wodehouse; he has, after all, been extensively written about over the years, his...

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World of hypocrisy

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James Delingpole W hen I first read that Ronan Bennett had co-written a screenplay depicting the run-up to 9/11 from the terrorist perspective, my reaction was just what you'd...

Time to downsize

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Taki Gstaad A thens is a city that thrives on rumours, and the latest is that the tae kwon do medals had been assigned to the various winners before the competition began. It...

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Sea weed

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Jeremy Clarke T had been on a health kick for three 1 weeks, eating pumpkin seeds and other healthful foods, doing yoga, and going to bed early every night with an improving...

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Waist disposal

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Petronella Wyatt W here have all the waists gone? According to the National Sizing Survey (sounds titillating, doesn't it?), the first study of female body measurements since...

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Journalese

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aspistos In Competition No. 2356 you were asked to provide material for a Spectator Diary written by a secondrate person/journalist. Apart from an inability to avoid clichés,...

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Ninety not out

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FRANK KEATING A notable week for brand-new nonagenarians. The last firework had scarcely fizzled to earth at the Olympics . closing ceremony on Sunday when, nicely, it was...

Dear Maly

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Q. Last week I arrived to stay with some English friends near St Remy and was shown to a most delightful and certainly 'best' spare bedroom — with glorious views over the...