17 FEBRUARY 2001, page 63

• Profits Of Gloom

Simon Barnes IF you ever feel overwhelmed by a sense of the futility of human existence, go to visit a football club on the verge of bankruptcy. That will change your mood of......

Q. I Have An Account With A Reputable Butcher. Last

week I gave a dinner party. Owing to crippling back pain, I used the butcher's delivery service. I asked for two mediumsized chickens, cut up in pieces, and goat's cheese for......

Q. Wandering Around Peter Jones The Other Day, I Was

dismayed to find that a simple, plain white, 100 per cent cotton, king-sized duvet cover costs £53. Knowing how little the raw ingredients would cost — if only one knew where to......

Q. What Does One Do (or Say) When A Work

colleague seems to sneeze almost every day, but sees no need to use a handkerchief? The offer of a tissue is refused with a cheery, 'No, it's OK, it's only hay fever.' M.D., by......