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Cains
The trouble with going to restaurants outside London is that they tend to be much more expensive. But often the food is much better. If you are going out to a restaurant because there is no food in the house or you cannot face the washing up afterwards, a multi-Michelin-star palais de luxe around the corner is just not what you will be in the mood for. What you need is a comfortable, reliable, not too noisy place a reasonable drive away.
If you are within striking distance of Uckfield, you have got just that in Cains (Uckfield 61279) in the high street of this not in any way spectacular small town 12 miles south of East Grinstead. This res- taurant does not represent a Discovery or anything as demanding as that, but it is one of a very few places where the bill for dinner (three courses, wine, coffee and tip) for two will come to under £30 and the food is good into the bargain. With starters at £1.50 and main courses at £5.50, I really cannot see how it keeps going, but a loyal (and grateful) clientele has ensured its success since it opened in 1983 and there is no reason for it to stop now.
What you get in this tiny room of a restaurant is not haute cuisine, but a recognisably English, eclectic menu that has a slight whiff of the nice girls' cookery class about it. What is on offer each evening is chalked up on a blackboard, and after some of their buttery garlic bread, choose from lettuce and pea soup; avoca- do, stilton and bacon salad; deep-fried mushrooms with garlic mayonnaise; crudi- te with horseradish, curry and garlic dips; souvlaki and tzatziki; deep-fried brie with gooseberry conserve (a real horror but fast becoming as ubiquitous as the kiwi); or a pancake filled with soft herring roe. Given how delicious, and cheap, roes are it seems a pity they're so rarely on restaurant menus. Here they were as near to perfec- tion as one could hope for: creamy, soft and subtle, and piping hot in their pan- cake. The soup was infinitely comforting, with the right taste and the right smell, only whizzed a bit too smooth.
Main courses come in portions innocent of one of the more criticised vagaries of nouvelle cuisine. This is not necessarily a good thing, however, as in a small res- taurant it is always more embarrassing to leave things. And not one main course could be described as light: monkfish and prawn thermidor; honey-grilled lamb; magret de canard a l'ananas; coq au yin; pork escalope in an avocado, cream and curry sauce; fillet steak, topped with gruyere en croate (a sort of upmarket cheeseburger); pigeon with bilberry sauce; baked hare in cream sauce; steak and venison pie; and, a nod to vegetarians, lentil moussaka. Rather a large repertoire for a small restaurant, but if the steak en croate — surprisingly successful, I thought — and pigeon — gently braised, its sauce interestingly tart — are anything to go by, not so as to arouse suspicions. Vegetables are a tour de force, with a proper bite to them, and their potatoes (Carolina, deeP- fried chunks with the skin still on or Marie, diced and baked with breadcrumbs and garlic butter) are irresistible. If you want a pudding at all, I should stick to one of the simpler ones. Not just because it is unlikely you'll have the capacity for anything else, but because they are better. The blackcurrant sorbet at £1 is excellent and I've heard only good things about their 95p vanilla ice cream. Though their steamed chocolate fudge and walnut pudding is a fine enough way to eat yourself to oblivion, the white chocolate and rum mousse is definitely not, being, in, fact, the only item on the menu I would advise you to avoid. There aren't many wines to choose from, but there's nothing wrong with rheir muscadet or COtes du Rhone both at £6.75, and you could try a bottle of their local, Hadlow Down, at £5.50. Cains is open for dinner from Tuesday to Saturday and for lunch on Friday and Saturday, and I should book at the weekend. Do not expect the sublime. This may not be a restaurant worth making a special expedition to but if you are nearby and hungry I am sure you could not do better.
Nigella Lawson
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