Play the Game, Plebs!

Competitors were asked to compose the school song, or an extract from the school maga- zine, of an expensive public school after it had been taken over by the State.

How pleasant to have an occasional outlet for our suppressed instincts of snobbery ! Full advan- tage was taken of the opportunitieS offered here, certainly; only here and there did the odd entrant seem to approve of the switch-over. Some, indeed, seemed to wear Grandeur's proud disdainful smile at the short and simple annals of the poor—even equating them, sometimes, with actual juvenile delinquents.

The transition was better reflected in prose than in song. Of the few really first-class songs, I must mention D. L. L. Clarke's and Allan M. Laing's, who led the rest by quite a long way, though I also liked 'Adsum's' : We're all for faggin' and we toss

For a noble Lord's son we can boss, and 'H. M. 1.'s': Let our voices ecstatic'lly thrill Loud in praige of the old Min. of Ed! Bless its soul! State Control!

while Barbara Roe foresaw that change would be only superficial : As through the same old swot and grind Each generation goes,

Then plus ca change, we think you'll find.

Plus c'e.vt la mente chose.

G. J. Blundell, however, was less sanguine :

Defend no more the old school tic. But hand it to the nearest joker. If we must have some neckgear, why. We'll don the honest British choker !

In the main, though, the magazine features were the most entertaining. Gloria Prince introduced a somewhat political note in her account of a parents' Complaints Meeting'—`Angry interrup- tions were incessant; and although Dr. Headsham rang his bell repeatedly and smiled in an effort to restore order, the screams of those parents of both sexes who were being dragged from the hall by the hair or were having their faces beaten in with the coal-shovel outside made his task an un- enviable one. . . .' L. S. C. painted a rather hor- rific picture of changes in the curriculum : 'Quiz- zics have replaced the Classics, and already HE (Higher Essential) scholars have made their impact on telly. No more fees for dad, a fridge for mum, and a settled quiz career in after life.' And Douglas Hawson described the deeds of the

school vocal group, whose 'joint session with the Roedean Rhythmesses was, we understand, quite a night and, if an exam can be cancelled, will be repeated next term.'

Honourable mention to D. L. L. Clarke, Porcu- pine, Allan M. Laing, 'H. M. I.' and Nancy Gunter. Coming now to prizes I regret to have to reveal that J. A. Lindon has done it again. He is neither my nephew nor my brother-in-law; let's face it, the man is Good. Three guineas to him, then, with one and a half guineas each to E. C. Jenkins and Rhoda Tuck Pook.

PRIZES

(J. A. L1NDON)

SOME OF THE YOBS

(Ead-teachers commence. From The Proletarian)

CLODD : One of our best chaps. Big football feet, nice short air, dont over shave isself. School captin. DUDE-ROPPE : A cissy, unpopler jue to yphenised name. Sent to 'blackpool.' Jue for expulshun. GOBBINS: Another cissy, an ankerchif cissy. Be

nachrul, Gobbins.

GRUBB: Must lern to drop is hs More two refind like. But a good chap took awl in awl.

NURT : Good efty workmans ands but dont pick is nose suffishuntly probin to insure genral respeck. SNEKE : Bin tapin the water pipes as an aid to tail barin. Nice work, Sneke, you will go far.

SOPPEY : Only boy as dont like our yobbos break beer an prefurs milk. Ort to be ashamd. Yet a good chap took awl in awl.

WOMM1T : Wants spechul tuishun in Latin an Greak some ops. Lern yore andicraft, Wommit, an fergit alese ighblown wims.

(E. C. JENKINS) Extract front Gosh, the magazine of Grishawk Secondary Boarding School, formerly Goshawk College: It's been quite an exciting term. The high spots were undoubtedly Speech Day, the November 5th -celebrations, and the demise of the headmaster. This year Speech Day broke away from the three-hundred- year rigmarole. The Latin stuff was definitely out, and the whole thing was brightened up. Lord Altrincham was a bit long-winded, but he seemed to be on our side, and as he brought Tommy Steele with him we can forgive him some of the tripe. The bonfire was pretty hot (ha, ha). The old whipping-block and the thousands of impot books made a good blaze. It was hard luck the Head gassing himself. Of course he belonged to the ancient regime, but he would have been retiring soon anyway. The referree lost us 011 match against the Town Secondary Mods, but course we're appealing.

(RHODA TUCK POOK)

A RIPPLE ON THE '0' STREAM

In the days when this was St. ellc!, ci.

anyway the Convent thinks were dill-rent. GI whove come since wont know so as I had just arrive when we swiched over they may like to. In those days the head wouldve just about taken,Lt if shed ever heard her nicname let alone been ell: it. But now they say Wigglebum invented it hers' anyway she insists on it as much as she does on A' thing anyway. In those days they called it a finishing school whicoll was just about what it was if theyd only known. N°,

.

you might say it starts us off instead and the list school honours proves it. I mean last year three view dings in the Sixth in one hots and two abslutely 1111,5,5i ful secryterryships to Guvners (one out of this world) and one auterbiography. Speaks for itself.

COMMENDED

(D. L. L. CLARKE)

Where once the 'dragon Privilege Upreared its ugly form, We spurn the more than average And venerate the norm.

No more the classics are for us An asinorum pons:

Our intake, aged eleven plu, Now studies modern con We fear no birch, no fagging do : The Powers spake, and lo !

From old Tradition's ashes grew A brand new status quo.

Old School, surviving countless shocks, With triumphs new be crowned, Conform to what is orthodox, And plumb the depths profound.