A Penny of Observation
TELEPHONE REFORM.
We shall be sorry indeed if the projected reform of our tele- phone system does not include the appointment to an advisory position in the Post Office of at least one experienced dramatist. The modem stage is served by a telephone system of almost magical efficiency. How often have we not watched, between envy and fascination, the Countess of foreign extraction (who has filched a quire of Secret Treaties and is pardonably elated) seize the instrument, manhandling it in insolent defiance of the Hints to Subscribers, and mutter into it a number, largely composed of 0's. She has scarcely time to bite her lip before she is speaking to her paramour, or at any rate to his butler. Throughout the ensuing conver- sation she clasps the mouthpiece to her midriff ; yet it is plain that the words she utters are as clearly audible to her fellow-subscriber as they are to us—possibly, indeed, more so —while his own remarks, if they have to be repeated at all, are repeated by her, and not by him. The telephone repre- sents the modern dramatist's only concession to Utopianism. Vice, crime, and folly infect every other branch of the life he depicts ; the telephone alone is perfect. We confidently predict that if the Post Office's reputation is not saved by a dramatist, it will not be saved at all.
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