A PROBATIONER'S DIARY.—L

THE following are extracts from the diary kept by a Red Cross probationer in the autumn of 1914:— The Feathers,' Sunday night.—To-morrow Jane and I set out to be, for a fortnight, probationers at a small but well-equipped surgical hospital in the South of England. I have just unpacked a pile of Red Cross aprons, an alarum clock, a box of abominably stiff high collars, a tin of biscuits, Plato's _Republic, some cocoa, and a suit of "mufti" from my box. We are to stay at this inn as there is no room for us at the hospital, and are to bicycle to and from our work. We are to be on duty in the wards at half-past seven to-morrow morning, but I am not yet clear as to when we get off at night. Jane and I have had several consultations as to the virtues we should aim at. We have come to the conclusion that for the moment the whole duty of man lies in practising the two O's, being, that is to say, Obsequious and Observant. We have not yet, seen

either of the two Sisters upon whom our happiness depends. I hope that Jane is dreading the morrow as much as L

Dionday.—We got on better than I had expected, but I find my brain a good deal befogged. Let me rehearse the items of my knowledge—turn out my pockets. (1) The dusters live in the drawer of the table which stands at the top of the ward, the brooms in the ward kitchen. (2) The brass rags are in a box on the top of the medicine cupboard in the ward sterilizing- room. (3) The ward is swept with tea-leaves at 8 o'clock and without tea-leaves at 12.30 and 7. (4) The patients much prefer bread and dripping to bread and butter. (5) The bath- room is to be considered to possess magic qualities ; anything which needs drying is to be hung there. For some unknown reason they do in fact get dry. Why does bread and butter resemble the waves of the sea when cut by me, I wonder? And why do my feet feel as if I had received the bastinado ?

I was amused to discover the correct way to address patients. Old ladies are called Granny, small girls Topsy (say) 10, the 10 referring to her bed number. The others Miss 6 or Mrs. 22, as the case may be. Monstrous genteel ! It was all much less terrifying than I had expected, and Sister and my fellow pros most kind. The staff nurse had a day off, so I've not yet seen her. I am distinctly tired, and am becoming too inco- herent to be trusted longer with a pen.

Tuesday.—Jane is in the men's ward. She tells me that there the patients are generally addressed as Daddy. They have got a machine to cut the bread, so she was most unsym- pathetic about my struggles. The patients in my ward are just beginning to show above the impersonal mist in which I had merged them. Granny 4 is obviously an expert in house- work, and gives me good advice about sweeping ; Topsy 2 strikes me as a rather exigeante young lady; Miss 17 and Mrs. 16 do crochet all day, and talk to each other about " No. 6 cotton and No. 5 hook, my dear, and begin your tidy like the one that was in Home Chat on Thursday." It will be much more amusing when I understand the con- versations between the other pros which are held in the ward kitchen as we out bread and butter, or in the sterilizing-room as we clean up instruments and dressing bowls. They turn upon such subjects as the cause of 30's abominable temper, or bow 29's fiance came to see her last visiting day, or how 25 had had ten operations. I made a great find to-day. Inside the medicine cupboard door is pinned a paper with " Duties of Probationers " upon it, and giving the hours at which things ought to be done. I have one accomplishment, and that is cleaning brass. A fellow pro actually remarked upon my taps to-day ! I exclaim with Mr. °rummies, "This is fame ! "

Wednesday.—To-day for the first time I began to have glimmerings on my own account. I seem to be throwing off the shroud of idiocy in which the host of new impressions had wrapped me. For example, I have at last grasped the fact that it is not necessary to sweep with such vigour as nearly to excavate pieces out of the floor, and I therefore got less behindhand with my side of the ward. One pro, be it under- stood, sweeps one side, one the other; a race often ensues. I shall never win that race. But, on the other hand, I remem- bered on my own account to go out and put on the water for the patients' lunches at 8.30. (Have forgotten to boast of this to Jane.) What is it that makes the gas roar when I light it? I have two griefs, and two only. One is that the weather being excessively hot my ankles and knees have swollen with the long hours of standing, to which I am not yet accustomed ; the other that there is just not time enough to read the newspapers com- fortably. I never knew till now how really worrying that could be. Our hours here are these. We go on duty at half- past seven. At half-past nine we have half an hour off, during which we eat bread and jam, drink chilly tea, and put on clean aprons. We are on again from ten till half-past one, then half an hour off for lunch, and perhaps the daily two hours off. On duty again at half-past four (having had tea) till 8 or 8.15. This is, I believe, less than in most large hospitals, and as soon as I am less "gone in the joints" will seem very comfortable. At present I confess to a strong temptation to sit upon the kitchen table at frequent intervals, or to prop myself up against the wall—both moat irregular proceedings.

Thursday.—To-day I saw a general anaesthetic given and a tiny operation performed. Not in the theatre, but at the patient's bedside. I was given odd jobs to do, such as putting round screens, running errands, passing swabs, and helping to hold down the patient. It was most interesting—to me, at any rate. I have been trying to remember all Chat was oe

this particular anaesthetic table, as Sister bade me take especial notice of it. The ether bag, the small chloroform

mask, two ounces of brandy, two hypodermic needles, one containing strychnine, one another stimulant whose name I can't recall, about five "dressed" throat swab holders, a pair of tongue forceps and a gag, a small enamel bowl, the chloro- form and ether bottles, and (I think) ethyl-chloride in its spray. I wonder if that was all ?

Friday.—I was allowed to do most of the dressings this morning. The awful eye of Sister was upon me. I wonder that I didn't drop all my tools. For the first two or three dressings she opened drums and passed me bowls with her own royal hand. She watched me scrub up my hands, and kept an eagle glance upon me to see, I suppose, that I did not thereafter smooth down my bib or touch the bedclothes.

They were all quite simple dressings and she made no comments, so that I trust that all was well. We shall see if I am allowed to do them again. I helped the staff nurse to cut dressings, make swabs, and pack the drums ready for the sterilizer this afternoon, when I ought to have been helping

the other pros with the patients' tea.. Feared that by this and by my sudden dizzy elevation this morning I might have earned their hatred. I therefore scrubbed mackintoshes with conspicuous vigour this evening. However, they did not appear to mind a bit.

Saturday.—I really am to sleepy to write this evening.

Jane and I sat up in her bedroom eating William pears, and discussing the mental atmosphere of institutions and the

respective merits of carbolic and boiling as germicides. We improved the hospital till half-past eleven. I was relieved to find that she too found that the extreme propriety of our behaviour to our elders and betters was becoming a strain. I do hope that we cha'n't break out either of us one day. We have to be so civil at meals ! I am constantly reminded of the meal in "A Soliloquy in a Spanish Cloister "

"Not a plenteous cork crop: scarcely Dare we hope oak-galls, I doubt : What's the Latin name for 'parsley' ? What's the Greek name for Swine's Snout?"

I am thankful that we have our dinner at ' The Feathers.'

We can, and do, wreak our pent-up " Swine's Snout "-ishness upon each other, and if we choose subside into newspapers before the joint. I gave No. 9 a blanket bath to-day. She