Feet In The Air
BY J. B. MORTON.
THE excitement over the Far-Eastern crisis has
resulted in the relegation to an obscure corner of news of a startling revolution that is taking place in our midst as I write these words. -People all over the country arc beginning to stand on their heads.
The bare statement looks fantastic, but any one can observe for himself the truth of it. A nervous beginning, in bedroom or study, followed perhaps by a lesSon or two, has ended in exhibitions at street corners and in public places. • The movement appears to have been started by a beauty-specialist, who advised his clients to stand on their heads for so many hours each day. His theory was that pale people would be the first to benefit from the treatment, since when the blood rushed to their heads, they would acquire the complexion of red roses. Furthermore, a gentleman who called himself a digestion expert, wrote a pamphlet in which he proved by statistics, by algebra, by history, by astrology, by palmistry and by the cards that the digestive system cannot fail to benefit by a reversal of the normal practice. He even went so far as to demonstrate that men have better digestions than women because they can more conveniently stand on their heads at a given moment ; which, he said, was an incentive to women to abandon feminine costume.
The campaign has made rapid progress. The day after a watchmaker in the town of Leicester had publicly stood on his head outside the leading hotel in the place,. an evening class was organized. The watchmaker was interviewed, and said that owing to his excitement he was unable to decide which way up things really were. lie said that the experience had taught him that there was more than one way of looking at the world, and that there might, after all, be a great deal to be said for the fellow who preferred to see everything upside down.
From all over England came reports of the new attitude, and town councils and other bodies had to make regu- lations forbidding women to follow the fashion anywhere but in the privacy of their own apartments. In the -market-place of a Hampshire town, over a hundred men stood on their heads during one evening, for a quarter of an hour, many of them exchanging cheery remarks with their neighbours, and all confessing that they had become aware of a new aspect of affairs. One young boy who toppled over was so horrified when he stood once more upon his feet, that he begged to be helped back to the alternative stance, and it was only his mother's threats that prevented him from spending the greater part of the night on his head in the open air.
Great excitement greeted the news that a Devonshire policeman had actually succeeded in walking a few paces on his head. He complained afterwards of headache and noises in his ears, but his daring example was soon followed. And now the whole question of adapting police- helmets to the new requirements is to be discussed. In spite of this, experts do not think it probable that the new habit will ever be very largely adopted for purposes of locomotion. " It is," as a well-known psychologist said the other day, " the static quality of the thing that is important. Perfect stillness attunes the mind to the unexpected task which the eyes are called upon to perform. The shock of strangeness must be allowed to wear off, before any violent movement is attempted. There will be plenty of time later for speed records and for tests of endurance. Whether the head will ever entirely supersede the feet is a probleM that only future years can solve. But it is not impossible that when the vigour of the body is transferred to and centred in the head, the brains /44-
be simultaneously transferred to the feet. The day may come when too much brain-work will give a man a foot- ache, and when a tight hat will produce corns on the • head. The real difficulty to be faced lies in the incontro- vertible fact that while the feet are dual, the head is single ; and the new problems of balance, which must inevitably arise, may tend to affect the body itself. At present, however, the movement is in its infancy."
The spectacle of a gentleman in evening dress standing on his head in the stalls, at a fashionable first night, was received with mixed feelings. The older and more con- servative among the distinguished audience held that not only was this an offence against the proprieties, but that it was, further, a slight upon the efforts of the manage- ment to entertain its patrons. It was too much in the nature, said they, of a counter-attraction ; a kind of music-hall turn in the auditorium. The younger people, on the other hand, joined in with laughter, and more than one said that the play didn't make any sense which- ever way you looked at it. Two nights later the Stage retaliated, when the leading man made a short speech. while standing on his head.
Only yesterday morning, I notice, the traffic was held up by a deputation of men on their way to. Downing Street to present a petition. They asked to be allowed to stand on their heads in Hyde Park fOr purposes of propaganda. At lunch-time, on the same day, the guests at a restaurant in Piccadilly were amazed to see a public figure, erect as a pillar, upside down in the middle of the dining-rooin floor. Respectful waiters skirted to right and left of• him, and there was much laughter when one of this year's debutantes, with whom he was lunching, approached and persuaded him to adopt a position more customary in such surroundings.
To-day's paper contains an alarming account of a clash between hatters and bootmakers in the Haymarket. The bootmakers complained that the hatters had stolen their trade, but the hatters retorted that since all eyes were now on the feet, it was up to the bootmakers to produce very beautiful boots, with gaily-coloured soles. It is thought that this is likely to result in an outbreak of red and yellow and green boOts, which will bring a wel- come splash of colour to our drab streets. Tailors are, of course, considering the whole question of pockets. In future they may be purely ornamental, since everything would be bound to fall out of them, so long as people changed capriciously from one position to the other.
HairdresserS regard the new fashion with approval. Any man who stands on his head a good deal will need frequent shampooing, and all that goes with it, and more than one scientist is of opinion that nature will see to it that man is provided, after a generation or two, with protective covering. In other words, our grandchildren may have thick manes of hair. " In those days," said a famous biologist recently, " our descendants will go to the theatre to see an acrobat balance himself on his feet."
Meanwhile, the habit has added a touch of comedy to greetings in the street. It is not an uncommon sight to see a lady shaking a gentleman's leg—although the more common practice is for the gentleman, on being recognized, to reverse his position at once, in order to spare the lady any embarrassment. For it is not easy for' a lady to pre- seive her dignity while addressing a gentleman whose face is down on the ground below her. If she looks him straight in the feet, she will appear discciurteous. If she lies down full length, in order to see and hear him better, she will appear ridiculous. Yet all these details are nothing when we consider the freedom which a new outlook will confer upon us. The hour has struck. Let us 'pi' forth with confidence, and turn everything- upside down. " -
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