"Spectator" Competitions RULES AND CONDITIONS Entries must be typed or

very clearly written on one side of the paper only. The name and address, or pseudonym, of the competitor must be on each entry and not on a separate sheet. - When a word limit is set words must be counted and the number given. No entries can be returned. Prizes may be divided at the discretion of the judge, or withheld if no entry reaches the required standard. The judge reserves the right to print or quote from any entry. The judge's decision is final, and no correspondence can be entered into on the subject of the award. Entries must be addressed to :—The Editor, the Spectator, 99 Gower Street,

London, W.C. 1, and be marked on the envelope Competition No. ( ).

Competition No. II (Set by " SCADAVAY.") A PRIZE of £3 3s. is offered for the best list with the following title : " Six English Words The Use Of Which Should Be Discontinued : and Why." The words may, be colloquialisms, but should be reputable. Entries must not exceed 800 words in length. The reasons for your aversions will be judged for their matter rather than their manner, and may be as tersely phrased as you please.

Entries must be received not later than Monday, .Tune 29th, 1931. The result of this competition will be announced in our issue of July 11th. .

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Competition No. by " ScAnAiev:4) A PRIZE of £3 8s. is offered for a list of the twelve women's Christian names most popular in England to-day. The prize will be awarded_ according to the general vote of the Competition.

;Ftutries must be received not later than Monday, July 6th, 1934. The result of this competition will appear in our issue of July 18th.

The result of Competition No. 10 will appear in our

. .

next issue,

Report of Competition No. 9

(REPORT AND AWARD BY " Ducu.") A PRIZE of £3 3s. was - offered for a new and original poem about the Derby. Poems might be in any form—seriods, pathetic, -humorous or satirical—but might not exceed twenty-five lines of English verse.

The conditions of this competition allowed for plenty of variety, and the entries have certainly provided it. Derby horses have run to many metres and Derby poets have been in many moods. - Captain J. R. Cleland writes of " We Three," and tells of

" a hat, hard, pudding-basin shape" ; of " a Lord that also furrowed brows when war time called us . . . . " and of " a race, a cure for all your worries . . . . the Derby ! "

The Reverend A. R. Storrs describes " A Listener's Derby," and how a blind man over the wireless can get " The glory and the fun Of the great race" Guy Innes, in " All in the Downs," sees hope for the Ship of State : " . . . . I've thought her crew was rotten ;

To-day I heard 'em ! Steam or stick-and-string, They'll answer to the bridge . . .. Have you forgotten

How half a million of 'em cheered The King ?"

W. G.'s opening is admirable :

" The pious Israelite, in Moses' day, A tithe of all his goods did give away. The ages passed. The righteous grew less thrifty, The good St. Martin made it fifty-fifty.

Behold at Epsom virtue a la mode,

Our cash, our cloaks, our shirts are all bestowed."

But, alas, his ending is tame.

D. L. Jones, who exceeds his twenty-five lines, has a word of pity for "Illness that only freedom can allay . . . Grandmothers who Cup Finals have survived," when John Bull wants an excuse to go to Epsoin A good many people describe the race of 1931, and inci- dentally find some difficulty in fitting the name of the winner into a line of verse. Miss F. S. Cobb is the most successful of these, and her swinging lines end well : " Wildly roar ten thousand voices, as the race is almost run, Carneronia.n! Cameronian! Jove ! the Favourite has won! ' " The Reverend S. A. Cox is the best of those who write of Derby Sweepstakes ; and Eric A. Roberts writes neatly of the Derby rumour : " Perhaps it's A secret

Straight from the stable ;

Or, my dear, It's a cart ; The milkman Told Mabel! "

There were a good many parodies. J. H. Plumer tells ho-.v

"Under his. spreading panoply The busy bookie stands."

D. M. Sayer " brings the good news " - "I paced from the paddock, and Orpen, and he, I galloped, they galloped, and all twenty-three E. S. Garner begins to : " tell of the thrice famous race that's run on Dprby days ; " and goes on to describe how

"Into the, straight they flew Volleyed and thundered."

The most successful 'competitor in this directiOn is The tieVerend P. M. Gedge, 40 Tabard Street, SOuthwark, S.E:1, who has taken " Mr. W. S." to Epsoni. He divides the priF,e with L. V. Upward, 14 Lyndhurst Road, Hampstead, *.W.3,

whose " Derby Rhyme " goes to a trotting tune.

THE PRIZE POEMS.

" SONNET. To Mr. C. (from Mr. William Himself).

Wrrn Dian's hounds well matched might thou be, " Thy flying feet scarce Death himself will stay ; The glorious Sun, ride he so dauntlessly, Dare not with thee contend the course of day.

The cunning fox, a pupil to thy mind, From pressing crowd would seek a surer earth, And for that human Fox a richer find Than Derby's stakes ne'er crowned fair Juno's birth. 0 could but time return the golden hour And rarer wisdom dock my pouting choice, Had spiteful Chance not willed on me to glower, My gold had never cheered the bookman's voice. And yet if thou, brave sire, could have a son, For me some other Derby might be won.

(Note. = Pouting.' The word seems inappropriate ' • some MSS read punting,' which perhaps should be preferred.)" - REV. P. M. LEDGE.

" A DERBY RHYME.

A month before the Derby my barber said to me: Don't support the Manton crack, Sir ; For of pace he shows a lack, Sir. (Just a shade more off the back, Sir ?) Well, we'll see what we shall see ; But if you'll take my advice, You will bet on " Paradise." ' A week before tho Derby a busman said to me : You keep off the Manton stable ; Those fast times are just a fable, And to win they're quite unable. Well, we'll see what we shall see ; But if you're in search of tin, Plump for " Paradise "—to win' !

At three-fifteen on Derby day my neighbour said to me : "Cameronian" has done it !

Never thought he would have won it.

Did you back it, Smith, or shun it Y ' I replied despondently : Acting on the best advice, I supported " Paradise." ' " Paradise " ' he chuckled. ' Oh I •

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