THE OLD LADY OF THREADNEEDLE STREET.
TITIS, it will be at once discerned, is a history of the Bank per sonified by an old lady of much wealth. The idea is far from new ; neither had it a brilliant origin : and all the credit derivable by the author must be looked for in the execution. We are not sure that the most ingenious man of this or any former age— not even the author of A Tale of a Tub himself—could have ac- complished much on such a groundwork : the author may there- fore take this as some consolation for his entire failure. He will then, however, have to account for his choice of so unmanageable a subject. The only possible good a pamphlet of this sort can effect, may be to draw some readers into a perusal of a few facts which they would not have approached in a dry form.
Of the humour attempted in the work, and of the manner in which facts are stated, the following extract will furnish an amplespecimen.
Shortly after this, Sir Robert Walpole called on me, to consult as to what ought to be done to alleviate and retrieve, if possible, these disasters. Having taken a memorandum of our conversation immediately after Sir Robert left me, I here present it entire to my readers. " Well, dame, bow are rags this morn- ing ?" " 'Why, Sir Robert, to tell the truth, they have been better, and I hope they will soon be better again ; but won't you walk into the private parlour, Sir Robert ?" " No, I am no hypocrite to sneak in by back doors or run iota back parlours. My modesty consists in endeavouring to avoid doing any thing I need to be ashamed of—not in. being ashamed of what I do. _I am what i seem. al,. rag trade, you say, has been better ;—at all events the panic seems to Ire over, for you are evidently receiving more gold than is taken away from you." " True, Sir Robert ; but there is no saying how soon the panic may revive, and then all the gold I receive in a week may be drawn out in an hour." "Well, dame, I have Just looked in this morning, to talk this matter over with you. You may be sure it is no trifle which brings me to this sulphureous atmosphere, where you and Mammon jointly reign : if you can breathe freely, I certainly envy you the soundness of your lungs, for I can hardly gasp ; it smells so cursedly ot sulphur, I could have sworn it was Pandemonium. But let us proceed to business: what is to be done ?" "It is for your great wisdom to suggest what should be done, Sir Robert ; the reins of government are in your hands, and the measures which the safety of the State may require, are committed to your adoption." "Well, perhaps my great wisdom may lead me to adopt measures not much to your liking. If it were net for your confounded monopoly of the rag trade, I would convert the South Sea Company into another rag manufactory ; and the benefit resulting from it, I have little doubt, would not be deemed dearly pur- chased at the expense of all the misery which that d—d bubble has occasioned. Come, dame, be good-natured for once in your life, and say that you will abandon your monopoly for the good of the State." "Never, Sir Robert ; I'd sooner par: with my life." "Be reasonable, woman; you know there is a way to make you listen to reason. Parliament is omnipotent ! The same power that made you, and placed the scarlet mantle on your shoulders, can, if they choose, unfrodi you. I never use force with a woman, only because I have ever found fair words answer my purpose. Do not provoke me, then!" " That you have the power to ruin me, Sir Robert, I do not mean to deny; but no power on earth can make me consent to my own dishonour !" "Why, you foolish woman, no- body has the most distant intention of ruining you : so far from ruining yea! what I propose will ultimately conduce to your own benefit, though I admit it would be a small sacrifice on your pert, in the first instance. However, since you are so self-willed in that respect, I have another proposal to make to you,— that you incorporate a considerable part of the South Sea Company's Stock into your own stock. Suppose, for instance, you buy 4,000,000/. of Stock from the South Sea Company, and add that amount to your own. This is not, in ray opinion, so advantageous a scheme either for the public or for yourself, if you knew your own real interest, as the one formerly proposed ; but if you are quite determined against the other, it is the only alternative left. • Say, then, you consent to this, in one word, for I have no time to waste arguing with you; and I once for all tell you, that if you do not agree to this proposal, the ether shall be adopted in spite of your remonstrances and lamentations. Come, your answer quickly, and in one word, yes or no?" "Yes." "That's a good lady. I must off now to the west-end, to let my colleagues know the result of any mis- sion. Before I go, by the by, give me a couple of your 1,000/. rags. An old lord of the court, who has more influence in a certain quarter than he should have, seems inclined to oppose one of my favourite measures, and talked to we the other day—heaven help the mark !—of its wounding his conscience to sup- port such a measure. I know no plaster for a wounded conscience equal to your rags. I shall e'en try if these won't heal his lordship's wound. I have found them cicatrize as tender a sore ere now. Good morning, dame." " Rut: good Sir Robert, before you go, a single word : I have consented, at once and without conditions, to your second proposal, but I hope you will notreftise. to allow my monopoly to be prolonged." "Prolonged! when does it callue' dame ?" " In 1742." "Not for twenty years yet, and you would have Me legislate for a generation yet -unborn. No, no, dame; my wisdom is ntit quite so great as that, yet." "But, Sir Robert, consider what a weight it is upon the mind, to know one's latter end is near. I shall never be able to apply my mind to my business with effect, when I know I am so soon to die. Goad fir Robert, do give me other twenty years—fifteen then,—not even fifteen,—at 11 events, ten—you can't refuse me ten years, Sir Robert ?" "Ten years ! I refuse you ten days. A pretty sort of postscript this is you have got up to our confab. dame • if you can point out to me one woman amongst all your acquaintance "Reface the seas and this terrestrial ball,
on the wrong side of fifty, who would not be better in heaven, I will at once grant you a renewal of your monopoly for a hundred years. Farewell." On this, Sir Robert flung out of the shop, got into his carriage, and drove off. He was a strange, sad man, and there were curious reports about him, but I shall not stoop to render my life the vehicle of scandal. In pursuance of this arrangement, I was authorized to receive subscriptions to increase my capital to the extent of 3,400,000/. to enable me to purchase 4,000,000/. of stock from the South Sea Company. This I effected without difficulty. At this period, then, I had advanced to the Government 9,375,027/. on which it paid me interest, while the amount of my capital stock was only 8,939,995/. Now, as it was only on this latter amount that I divided, the capital on which I received interest, therefore, exceeded the capital on which I divided. This constitutes what is called my undivided capital ; and I found it so very con- venient a fund for secret services, and other purposes, that I have kept up such a fund from that day to this.
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