YOUR PROBLEMS SOLVED
Dear Mary. . .
Q. Like Alan Clark I suffer from occasional seizing-up at the urinal stalls when another bloke is present. What should I do?
B.B., SW3 4, A fellow sufferer has cured this problem ee and for all by carrying a loaded water- pistol at all times. He finds that an initial hard squirt at the porcelain creates the nec- essary encouragement for the natural bodi- ly functions to take over.
Q. I am owed a fairly considerable sum of money by a man with whom I was involved a Couple of years ago. Although I feel awk- ward about mentioning this money to him, I have done so in the past, but he just gloss- es over it and then conveniently forgets. Now not only do I resent this unpaid debt,I also need to be reimbursed. The problem is this: he is a Member of Parliament and therefore high-profile. We have many friends in the same circles. I do not wish to be alienated by these people and I do not wish them to think me a money-grubber. What is the best way of resolving this mat- ter without causing this man undue embar- rassment?
D.D.B., Bedfordview, South Africa A. Write a confidential note to your former suitor explaining that you are in dire finan- cial straits and wonder if he would be able to help by sending you the same amount of money as you lent him in the past. You will then find out whether absent-mindedness or straightforward dishonesty is at the root of his unwillingness to repay. Alternatively, you could ask him to stand as guarantor to the loan company you are going to approach with a view to borrowing a sum which, coincidentally, corresponds exactly with the amount of money he owes you.
Q. I do enjoy your advice and thought I would pass on the following story. Friends of mine over here recently gave a large party to which they did not invite one cou- ple who in the past had always attended but who never gave any parties of their own, took former hosts out to dinner, etc. You know the type! These friends of mine were worried that this one couple would hear of the party and ask why they weren't invited. Well, this actually did occur and my friends' response was to say, 'Well, we didn't think you liked parties as you never give any.'
TG.K, Laguna Beach, California A. For readers who consider hospitality to be a matter of quid pro quo, this device may be of interest. Most experienced party- givers are aware, however, that those guests who are 'good value' tend almost by defini- tion to be bad at entertaining themselves, either through incompetence, meanness or even poverty, which is why they make such an effort as guests. It would be a short- sighted hostess who excluded jesters on fit- for-tat grounds.
Mary Killen
If you have a problem, write to Mary Killen, clo The Spectator, 56 Doughty Street, Lon- don, WCIN 2LL.
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