Suits you, suckers
From Mr Marcus Warren Sir: I believe I can trump Colin Bostock- Smith (Italian Lesson', 18 November). I was a victim of aggressive, face-to-face mar- keting Italian-style one Sunday morning in August on Moscow's Volgogradsky Prospekt, not far from the power station and the sausage factory.
Unlike Mr Bostock-Smith, I was on the move when the would-be salesman began Are you EU or Non-EU?' flashing his lights and gesticulating mani- cally at me to pull over. Sucker that I am, but also curious, I braked and parked the car (a Volvo with plates identifying me as a British journalist; hence, I imagine, the sales pitch).
My fashion salesman deployed a patter similar to the man from Versace at the Scratchwood service station, with a few variations specific to Moscow. He, too, spoke only broken English — and even less Russian. He was also leaving town that evening, but he needed to offload a few Armani suits as a matter of urgency because 'I fucka Russia girl last night and she steal all my money.'
Being a sucker, but an honest one, I told him I had only enough roubles on me to pay off a traffic policeman. So no sale this time for my new Italian friend, and he rapidly lost interest. However, he did leave me his business card. Anyone tempted by such an offer should contact me or F. Mario (Italia Moda), Via Ottavio Tupputi, 24, Milano.
Marcus Warren
c/o Daily Telegraph, Moscow
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