LIGHT ARTICLES ONLY. *
Ons of the most agreeable statements that we find in Mr. A. P. Herbert's Light Articles Only is one in five words—that the author has " a new novel in preparation." Mr. Herbert is • Aight Akides Orly. By A. P. Herbert. ,LendOn: Methuen. [9o. Mt] surely one of the best of modern humorists. His humanity and scholarship flutter on the wings of a most fantastic invention. He is, like Mr. Chesterton, in the direct line of English humour, a humour which always has in it an element of the wildness of the fairy-tale and which is made more strange by its apparent dealing with everyday affairs. One of the most delightful studies in the present volume is the one entitled " The Mystery of the Apple-pie Beds." " The Grasshopper," " The Criminal Type " and " The Autobiography of a Shocker " also have the romantic element strongly developed in them.
The most brilliant thing in the book, however, is certainly the parody of the Abbey Theatre School of Drama, called " The Book of Jonah," while "The Art of Drawing" (at Committees) is no less delightful than when it appeared in Land and Water. There is only one cruel article in the whole book, and that is the one entitled " Wrong Numbers." Mr. Herbert says 11^ has invented a new telephone game, "thoroughly discreditable and anti-social." It has become clear that his telephone numberis the only one that the operators know. Strangers are constantly being introduced to him in error on the telephone, but he has become hardened. He no longer murmurs, " Wrong number, I am afraid." He has hit upon the demoniacal device of pretending that it is the right number. " I lead my fellow-victim on into a morass of mystification ; I worm out his precious secrets ; I waste his precious time." Say that a lady's voice asks, " Is that the Midland Railway ? " Mr. Herbert answers with a polite inquiry as to which department she requires. The lady says it is about eggs. Mr. Herbert obsequiously says he will put her through to the Goods and Transit Department, and is duly thanked. Mr. Herbert takes a stroll round the garden and now speaks " in a gruff, railway voice," saying, " Motor-vans and Haulage Department." The lady begins, " An egg-box----," but Mr. Herbert tells her that she requires the Goods and Transit Depart- ment, is again thanked, again goes into the garden, puts in some more cuttings, and returns to say very suddenly, "The 4.55 to Bunby Major is suspended." The voice apologetically repeats that it wants to talk about some eggs. Mr. Herbert (horrified), " Some legs." The patient voice spells it and this time is allowed to get so far as to explain that an egg box was despatched from Hitchin by a friend on the 21st, to be followed up sharply by Mr. Herbert with, " What name, madam ? " The Voice : " Major Bludyer." Then in quite a new voice Mr. Herbert asks if he was one of the Buckinghamshire Bludyers.
The Voice : " Hullo ! . . . Hullo It was despatched on " Mr. Herbert must know if it is the Major Bludyer—" that well-grown old boy." The voice is getting fainter, and Mr. Herbert puts it out of its misery by saying how glad he is to have had this little talk and asking to be remembered to old Bludyer.
The same sort of fiendish game is played with the business man who wants to settle the agenda for a meeting of directors, with a lady who wants seats at the Paragon Theatre for Thursday, and with the man who wants to speak to tho Prime Minister's private secretary. The last, having excited Mr. Herbert's disapprobation, is left holding the line to infinity.
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