The Clergyman .and the Dentist
REPORT ON OVERSEAS COMPETITION No 2. By Allan M. Laing Competitors were asked to supply the missing story of the clergyman and the dentist, mentioned by Bernard Shaw in a letter.
JOKES are a matter of taste, but one that GBS considered worth telling, and which doubled up John Burns and H. W. Massingham, would have to be really funny. Well, I must admit that from the smallish entry for this competition I did not get an anecdote that would even double me up. My harvest was one genuine but not too hearty laugh and a small number of pale smiles. One of the latter might not have been quite so pale had no fewer than five entrants not sent in variants of the same anecdote. Some of them embroidered the talc with more or less elaborate stitching, but the basic material was not hidden. Several of the other stories, although nominally about a dentist and a clergyman, might have been told of any- one, since they had no connection with either occupation.
There was never any doubt in my mind about the entry of Mrs. R. C. Dallas, of Toronto, being the best of the bunch, and I suggest a prize of two guineas for the story she tells. And, since the story of the lisping clergyman attracted so many entries, I think it ought to be represented in the prize-list—so, one guinea to Lieut. D. R. Mackintosh, of Hong Hong, whose version made the succinct best of a not hilariously amusing anecdote.
The general reader may be interested to know that entries also came from Abercorn (Northern Rhodesia), Salisbury (presumably Africa, also), Australia, New Jersey, Singapore, Hamm, Trini- dad and Boston.
PRIZES
(MRS. R. C. DALLAS)
A Reverend Father in Ireland, while under the skil- ful ministrations of his dentist, at intervals discussed happenings in the Parish. 'I hear Rosie O'Grady is behaving like a prostitute,' remarked Dr. Drillwell, turning away to pick up an instrument.
'What!' shouted the Priest, rising suddenly from his reclining position. 'What did you say—a wiikir 'A prostitute,' answered the dentist.
'Oh, merciful heaven!' ejaculated the Father, slowly sinking back in his chair. 'I thought you said a PROTESTANT!'
(LIEUT. D. R. MACKINTOSH)
A clergyman visited his dentist to have a set of false teeth fitted. After the teeth had been put in, he went over to a looking glass to examine them. The dentist, busied in putting away various instruments, was suddenly startled to hear the clergyman say, very loudly and clearly, 'Jesus Christ.' The dentist turned round and said anxiously, 'Nothing wrong, I hope?' 'Oh, no, no, my dear Sir, far otherwise. For the first time in seven years 1 am able to utter the name of our Blessed Redeemer without whistling.'
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