18 MAY 1996

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ran Igo home now, nurse? I'm feeling much better.' T he British Government told Sinn Fein, the political face of the Irish Republican Army, that it would not be allowed to take...

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The Spectator, 56 Doughty Street, London WC1N 2LL Telephone: 0171-405

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1706; Telex 27124; Fax 0171-242 0603 SACK THE CHANCELLOR O ne of the pieties of the moment is that it really would be the end of Mr Major and the Tories if Mr Kenneth Clarke...

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Peter Mandelson is the Caliban's mirror of new Labour they had better get used to the sight BRUCE ANDERSON T here is a dispute in John Major's Cab- inet, and so there ought to...

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DAVID HARE T he Spectator diary is as good a place as any to eat crow. A year ago, I wrote an arti- cle in a national newspaper saying that given the calibre of his Cabinet and...

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We think we say what we think, but we don't think what we say. That's what I think about Mr Hattersley MATTHEW PARRIS D ), want to know what Mr Roy Hat- tersley earns? You...

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. . . yet we still subsidise the sporting one. Mark Archer says much money is wasted on the Sports Council, and that television is wrong about what Britons really enjoy THE...

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Michael Heath

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Mind your language

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`SO WHY,' I asked my husband, `do you always write this lady, instead of this woman, in letters of referral?' `What?' he replied, throwing the lat- est issue of Aggressive...

Correction. In last week's Spectator, the title of Kenan Malik's

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book should have been The Meaning of Race.

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Paul Johnson looks at Tory prime ministers since they were invented in the 1780s, and finds one thing in common: they are unalike This article is an extract from a longer pam-...

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. . . that's what we live in, says James Hanson, and he has no doubt who, or what, is to blame THE Los Angeles Times has recently com- pleted a series on increasing media...

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Simon Hoggart identifies the last ethnic group in the United States whom it's all right to be rude about YOU MAY be a redneck if: Your wife is heavier than your pick-up truck....

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If symptoms

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persist. . . TO HAVE one jealous boyfriend may be regarded as a misfortune; to have two looks like foolishness. I am not talking now of two such boyfriends in swift...

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There's danger ahead, Poppa Eddie tells the crowds in Threadneedle Street CHRISTOPHER FILDES T housands of workers jostled in Thread- needle Street to cheer the man they call...

Your policies tonight

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I SHOULD never have let myself in for this. Trying to explain, a week ago, the Government's merger policy for last week, I promised an update on this week's policy as soon as I...

Mad dogs and Englishmen

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IN TROPICAL climes there are certain times of day when all the citizens retire to tear their clothes off and perspire — all, as Noel Coward observed, except for the visit- ing...

Scots help themselves

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JUST as a group of Welsh financial fixers is a Taffia, so the equivalent in Edinburgh is a MacHination. It will normally include the landlord of a border county, a fund manag-...

Gloomy portal

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GOOD NEWS and bad news from Light- atendoftunnel, formerly UK plc. Sir Ken- neth Clarke, ebullient co-chairman and finance director, says that everything is fine except the...

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Vive la difference

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Sir: It's a sorry day when Kenan Malik is using your columns CRace towards censorship', 11 May) to rehearse the well- known foxy ploys of liberals who pretend that genetics and...

Sir: Anne McElvoy's article is an effective evaluation of the

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Goldhagen controversy. It is scarcely surprising that the post-1945 fatherland has sought completely to disas- sociate itself from the Nazi regime. There was even a postwar...

LETTERS Ungermans?

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Sir: I read and reread Anne McElvoy's arti- cle (`Throwing the book at Germany', 4 May) with a mounting sense of conviction that Gentiles lose all sense of proportion,...


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12Months 6Months UK CI £84.00 LI £43.00 Europe (airmail) 01£95.00 la £48.00 USA Airspeed LI US$135 U US$68 USA Airmail CI US$180 U US$90 Rest of Airmail LI £115.00 CI £58.00...

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Sir: Bruce Anderson, reviewing David Irv- ing's Goebbels (Books, 27 April), asserts that the publication of this book has been `prohibited' in the USA and that this tan...

Drunk of Tunbridge Wells

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Sir: You have recently published two articles dealing with the appealing side of the char- acter of the late Professor Richard Cobb (Arts, 11 May and 'Napoleon bad, Critchley...

LETTERS Really rich!

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Sir: I am regularly dumbfounded by the chutzpah of those earning more in a day than millions of low-paid workers do in a week, as they patiently explain why Britain cannot...

A question of mood

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Sir: British foreign correspondents, in my experience, are on the whole a friendly and supportive bunch — particularly during hard times. I was therefore surprised and concerned...

Sorry, Jeff

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Sir: My apologies to Jeffrey Bernard for `bombarding him with unsolicited begging letters' (Low life, 27 April) and my thanks to him for his kind donation to Shelter. Mr Bernard...

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Would that someone could expose the hypocrisy of Montgomery of the Mirror (perhaps I have) STEPHEN GLOVER S ome readers may have missed two recent issues of the Daily Mirror...

Classified on pages 60, 61 and 62

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Confessions of a modern morphine addict PETRONELLA WYATT I have been taking morphine. Not, I has- ten to explain, for 'recreational' purposes. When my recent attack of...

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Twelve greedy men David Sexton THE RUNAWAY JURY by John Grisham Century, f16.99, pp.401 I t's natural• for Americans to believe in lawyers. If you have been told that you have...

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A realist of the old school

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Douglas Hurd CENTURY'S ENDING: REFLECTIONS 1982-95 by George Kennan W. W. Norton, £19.95, pp.351 L et me get a small cavil out of the way — George Kennan has had 40 fruitful...

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Being beastly to the germs

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Anthony Daniels PLAGUES: THEIR ORIGIN, HISTORY AND FUTURE by Christopher Wills HarperCollins, £20, pp. 324 We all love a good plague, so long as it is far enough away, long...

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First the bad news - subscription rates to The Spectator went up on 1 May. The rising cost of print, paper and postage means that we now do need to charge more. The good news...

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Goodness had little to do with it

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Alan Watkins TICKLE THE PUBLIC: ONE HUNDRED YEARS OF THE POPULAR PRESS by Matthew Engel Gollancz, £20, pp. 352 F r some years now Mr Engel has been one of the most consistently...

A hesitant, reluctant martyr

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C.D.C. Armstrong THOMAS CRANMER by Diarmaid MacCulloch Yale University Press, £25.95, pp. 692 F ittingly for one who lived in a time of religious conflict, Thomas Cranmer has...

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Direct and rule our hearts

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Christopher Hampton DAVID LEAN by Kevin Brownlow Richard Cohen, £25, pp. 809 I nveigled (or Spiegeled, as he puts it) into embarking on this massive book under the impression...

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A kind of patriotism

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Leslie Mitchell THE YOUNGER PITT: THE CONSUMING STRUGGLE by John Ehrman Constable, L35, pp. 882 J ohn Ehrman has been living with William Pitt for three decades. The first...

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Tea and strawberries on the lawn

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Jane Ridley LUTYENS AND THE EDWARDIANS by Jane Brown biking f25, pp. 276 N ot long after Lutyens' death, his daughter Ursula embarked on a sentimen- tal journey round the...

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A wandering minstrel he

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Nigel Clive A BOTTLE IN THE SHADE: A JOURNEY IN THE WESTERN PELOPONNESE by Peter Levi Sinclair-Stevenson, f17.99, pp. 277 P eter Levi was Oxford's Professor of Poetry in the...

A selection of recent paperbacks

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Non-fiction: This Year in Jerusalem by Mordecai Richler, Vintage, £7.99 The Weather Prophet by Lucretia Stewart, Vintage, £6.99 Modern Philosophy by Roger Scruton, Mandarin,...

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Roll over, Beethoven Michael Kennedy reflects on why Mozart has now moved to the top of the popularity charts D uring the half-century and more in which I have been listening...

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100 Masterpieces from the Vitra Design Museum Collection (Design Museum, till 6 October) Are you sitting comfortably? Edward Lucie-Smith A n odd thing is happening to...

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Exhibitions 1

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William Morris (Victoria & Albert Museum, till 1 Sept) Biding his time Tanya Harrod Self-portrait by Morris, 1856 T here have already been some notably sour previews and...

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Exhibitions 2

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Vases and Volcanoes (British Museum, till 14 July) Oasis of elegance Martin Vander Weyer H ow nice it must have been to be Sir William Hamilton, even if Emma went to the bad...

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Kids (18, selected cinemas) Showing off Mark Steyn i ds is the sort of film where, when one of the eponymous juveniles wants another to make room for him on the sofa, he...

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Simply Disconnected (Minerva, Chichester) Mind Millie For Me (Haymarket) Nuremberg (Tricycle) Defeated by time Sheridan Morley S imon Gray's Simply Disconnected is...

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The shock of the old Giannandrea Poem V aslav Nijinsky's choreographic genius has been acknowledged by many scholars, researchers and journalists. Yet only a few people were...

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A bit of rough James Delingpole I hereby disown my father. To his eternal shame, it turns out that he is a huge fan of my least favourite television drama, Sharpe. `Why?' I...

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Stop the brainwashing Michael Vestey W hen Simon Pemberton thumped Shula Hebden in The Archers last Friday night, a line from Noel Coward's Private Lives sprang to mind:...

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Close encounters Christian Hesketh I n rugby terms, this last fortnight has seen some exciting encounters. On 4 May, the final of the Pilkington Cup was played before an...

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The turf

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Bending the odds Robin Oakley S ome 25 years ago my old friend Jeffrey Archer informed me, with all the gravitas of a future peer of the realm, 'The world is divided into...


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Where's my perk? Alan Judd A banking friend is to lose his compa- ny car. Lest the hearts of non-bankers and of owners of non-company cars crack with grief, I should say at...

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High life

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Forget the analysts Taki than intellectual exercise. Both ladies are estranged from their husbands, something I find very sad where Cosi is concerned. When Cosi married her...

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Low life

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Whose blood is it anyway? Jeffrey Bernard But, as I say, the blood transfusions were indeed a bloody bore. Each bag took between seven and eight hours to go through — usually...

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Country life

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Ground rules Leanda de Lisle T he garden is a source of considerable stress in this house. Not the walled kitchen garden, but the garden around the house — if you can call it...


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BRIDGE Sound tactics Andrew Robson West led a safe V10 against South's ambi- tious grand slam contract of 7NT. With only 12 top tricks, ostensibly South needed ♦ Q to fall...

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BEAR with me. I know you know this, but let's

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go through it precisely. I had always assumed it was not difficult to eat aspara- gus. You pick it up by the thick end, push the thin end into the mayonnaise, pool of olive oil...

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COMPETITION ISLE OF L -41 : 1 U fkA Cooking up poetry Jaspistos IN COMPETITION NO. 1932 you were invited to supply a recipe in verse. Cucumber sandwiches (Peter Norman),...


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IN•THE-STRAND CHESS SIMPSON'S IN-TILE-STRAND D8-Day Raymond Keene A CURIOUS PHENOMENON exists predicated on the isolated observation of an unusual word, phrase or idea,...

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Solution to 1258: All at sea

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b DMZ n ri iiI Emigre A ti N diersEiwrigicri rikArreran E3 TONErlianialial ACIEIVICI on LIME to UM E hiEE ( A T Ari A©c Le m T Nue UM E A T u u IC A 11 ri Ur a Apr...

No. 1935: Nonentity

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This competition was suggested by Leo Stein. Kipling wrote a story entitled 'The Man Who Was'. You are invited to write one entitled 'The Man Who Wasn't'. Maximum 200 words....


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A first prize of £25 and a bottle of Graham's Late Bottled Vintage 1989 Port for the first correct solution opened on 3 June, with two runners-up prizes of £15 (or, for UK...

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Desperate passions Simon Barnes SOMEONE spat on Eric Cantona's head as he went up to collect the FA Cup on Satur- day. Someone else threw a punch at Alex Ferguson. There is...


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Dear Mary.. . Q. Your correspondent J.G.H. of Norfolk writes (Dear Mary, 4 May) of his difficulty in purchasing sock suspenders. May I advise him that one admirable alternative...