4 SEPTEMBER 1999

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PORTRAIT OF THE WEEK

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M r Tony Blair, the Prime Minister, returned from holiday to find Ulster Unionists demanding the resignation of Dr Mo Mowlam, the Secretary of State for Northern Ireland, after...

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The Spectator, 56 Doughty Street, London WC1N 2LL Telephone: 0171-405

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1706; Fax 0171-242 0603 RUSSIAN ROULETTE U pwards of $100 billion has been cor- ruptly siphoned out of the post-communist Russian economy, according to the chair- man of the...

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POLITICS

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The Ulster peace process is morally flawed, and so it ought to be BRUCE ANDERSON T he Ulster peace process is morally flawed and always has been. From the out- set, it has...

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DIARY

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MINETTE MARRIN ast Sunday was my last day in the most idyllic place I can think of in Europe. We had been staying for three weeks in a beautiful rented house in Andalucia,...

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ANOTHER VOICE

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How the Morris Minor proves that Bob Dylan was wrong MATTHEW PARRIS S eated at the wheel of a 1952 Morris Minor a few weeks ago, I reflected on how little technical progress...

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DON'T LET'S BE BEASTLY TO THE GERMANS

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It is sixty years since Britain went to war to defeat Nazism, but we still think the Germans are naff, if not nasty. Giles MacDonogh on the short but bitter history of...

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Mind your language

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I HAVE now reached an age to object when Veronica uses bits of slang that I happen not to like. I could bear the unisex guy, wicked meaning 'good', even the retro fab and...

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THE EVIL OF BANALITY

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George Szamuely says the Holocaust was not the work of an anti-Semitic people but of unimaginative state functionaries OPENNESS is a fine thing, but I wonder about the...

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THE WHINGE FACTOR

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Ross Clark on why countryfolk should stay out of town I HAVE a problem. I can't quite reconcile the scenes from my study window with what 1 read in some of the newspapers. I...

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MARTIAN INVASION

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Adrian Berry on how Earthlings could colonise the Red Planet BLEAK Devon Island in the Canadian Arctic with its 150 mph winds, where it is dangerous to walk around unarmed for...

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SPECTATOR

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DIARY 2000 £15 Plain £16 Initialled The Spectator 2000 Diary, bound in soft red goatskin leather, is now available. Laid out with a whole week to view, Monday to Sunday, the...

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GENERATION SEX

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The destruction of childhood is A 26-YEAR-OLD woman has just become a grandmother. She gave birth at 14, her daughter at 12. On the present trend, she will be a...

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`THIS JOKE IS DECEASED'

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Monty Python never was ground-breaking and, thirty years on, it is still a magnet for bores, says Ed Barrett MONTY PYTHON's status as a national treasure has blinded people to...

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BORING BUT DANGEROUS

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Mark Steyn on Tony Blair's disastrous project to turn the United Kingdom into Canada Quebec A FEW years back, a writer at one of Lon- don's glossy monthlies called up and said...

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AND ANOTHER THING

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Who will don Elijah's mantle and lead the revolt of Ruritania? PAUL JOHNSON I f I were given the job of resurrecting the Conservative party from its smouldering ruins, I would...

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Dope makes you nasty

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From Mr Jay Corbett Sir: The article 'Absolutely spliffing' (21 August) seems to me irresponsible and dangerous nonsense. My wife works with drug addicts, and I've never heard...

Tony's phonies

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From Mr Frederick Forsyth Sir: Mr Mark Seddon's article (Politics, 28 August) underscores what I and others have been noticing for some time: a grow- ing disenchantment mounting...

Cheep idea

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From Mrs Katie Grant Sir: I was having difficulty believing that Petronella Wyatt finds Mr Hague even secretly sexy (`Leave Will alone', 2 8 August), but all was made clear when...

Drinking Strine

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From Mr David Morgan Sir: Michael Duffy's rant (Elizabeth II boomerangs back', 21 August) leads me to ask what on earth is wrong with Chardon- nay? Wine is a major Australian...

Diagnosing bias

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From Mr Richard Law Sir: Mr Clive Elliot's explanation for the domination of the BBC by the Left may only be half right (Letters, 28 August). Years ago, the late Lord Hill of...

Tito, ethnic cleanser

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From Mr Petar Jankovic Sir: David Turner's suggestion that Mihailovic's Chetniks are the political ances- tors of today's Serbian ethnic cleansers (Let- ters, 21 August) is a...

LETTERS Parents' role in schools

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From Mr Jonathan Hulme Sir: Yet another article about education (`The enemies of learning', 28 August) has appeared in which the author, sickened by his own experience in a...

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AS I WAS SAYING

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Only a federal Europe can stop the abolition of Britain PEREGRINE WORSTHORNE Sadly, there is not a chance of this hap- pening under the British parliamentary sys- tem. If Mrs...

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BOOKS

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Before the lamps went out Ian Ousby SPLENDID ISOLATION? BRITAIN AND THE BALANCE OF POWER, 1874-1914 by John Charmley Hodder, £25, pp. 518 A weighty item in Churchill's...

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The mystique of ping-pong

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Gerald Jacobs THE MIGHTY WALZER by Howard Jacobson Cape, £15.99, pp.388 his book challenges two pieces of con- ventional wisdom about Jews. One is that they are hopeless at...

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Scapegoats of history

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Byron Rogers THE WORLD OF THE FAVOURITE edited by J. H. Elliott and L. W. B. Brockliss Yale, £35, pp. 320 F or most of the 16th and part of the 17th century, many European...

Page 31

Buller, beer and biltong

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Barbara Trapido LADYSMITH by Giles Foden Faber, £9.99, pp. 366 T he Boer War is still with us. It is the reason why English football grounds have terraces called 'the Kop' and...

Staying on to good purpose

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David Gilmour SAVAGING THE CIVILIZED: VERRIER ELWIN, HIS TRIBALS AND INDIA by Ramachandra Guha University of Chicago Press, £22.50, pp. 336 N o one resembling Verrier Elwin...

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Beating any old drum

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Kevin Myers A STAR CALLED HENRY by Roddy Doyle Cape, £16.99, pp. 343 R oddy Doyle has pioneered an economic style of writing, conveying ambi- ent detail almost entirely...

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Doing what comes naturally

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P. J. Kavanagh PRINCE CHARMING: A MEMOIR by Christopher Logue Faber, £20, pp. 340 A sort of biography by the poet Logue, b. 1926 into an English-Irish Roman Catholic family in...

A wandering minstrel

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Penelope Fitzgerald MUSIC AND SILENCE by Rose Tremain Chatto, £16.99, pp. 454 I 'm not sure that music is the opposite of silence, but Rose Tremain's spellbinding new book is...

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Horrible history man

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Norman Stone THE VICES OF INTEGRITY: E. H. CARR, 1892-1982 by Jonathan Haslam Verso, £25, pp. 306 T he first bit of poison ivy that you encounter, approaching this gothic...

THE SPECTATOR BOOKSHOP

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usic and Silence This brilliant historical novel will rival Rose Tremain's bestselling, prize-winning book Restoration. In the year 1629 a young English lutenist arrives at the...

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ARTS

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Neglected cousin of landscape An exhibition of seascapes in Rouen redresses the balance, as Nicholas Powell reports n The Greek Interpreter, Sherlock Holmes tells Watson of his...

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Exhibitions

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Joseph Beuys Drawings: The secret block for a secret person in Ireland (Royal Academy, till 16 September) Joseph Beuys: Editions (Scottish National Gallery of Modem Art, till...

Theatre 1

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The Man Who Came to Dinner (Chichester) Audra McDonald (Donmar Warehouse) Guest from hell Sheridan Morley T hough it was once the most successful and oft-revived of all...

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Theatre 2

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Timon of Athens (Royal Shakespeare Theatre, Stratford) Rout of the world Patrick Carnegy T he RSC rounds off what's been a strong season with Gregory Doran's arrest- ing...

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Opera

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Five short operas (Battersea Arts Centre) Brief encounters Michael Tanner A walk up Lavender Hill to the Bat- tersea Arts Centre was amply rewarded by a company founded two...

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A Gallic Glyndebourne

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David Fingleton attends a performance of Figaro on the French Riviera T he Villa Ephrussi at St Jean Cap Fer- rat was built by the Rothschilds at the turn of the century and was...

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Cinema

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Yellow Submarine (U, selected cinemas) In the spirit of the Fab Four Mark Steyn ter last week's South Park, Yellow Submarine is, whatever else might be said about it, a...

Pop music

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Martha Hazel's favourites Marcus Berkmann P op music is supposed to be a young person's game, so I have recently been introducing its pleasures to Martha Hazel Berkmann (born...

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Television

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Impossibly amiable James Delingpole bviously I like being me best of all but I think if I could choose to be anyone else it would probably be John Peel. I wor- ship the man...

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Radio

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Net interest Michael Vestey W hen I bought a new computer a friend, Carrie — an IT wizard — came round and put me on the Internet. After she'd gone I gazed at the screen...

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The turf

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One of the greats Robin Oakley I suppose we should have seen it coming, but when Peter Walwyn and his wife, Bonk, told me over dinner at the Hare and Hounds last Thursday that...

High life

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Read and weep Taki I couldn't agree more. Offering millions of pounds for the head of a worthless liar like Clinton is inflationary. It debases a currency and can lead to a...

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Country life

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Moral dilemmas Leanda de Lisle I find myself taking the strangest mes- sages for Peter these days. 'The offal com- mittee meeting is taking place at Paul's house at 8 p.m.'...

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Singular life

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Age before duty Petronella Wyatt hat has happened to the present generation? What has gone wrong? What- ever it is, it is an absolute disgrace. Past governments should be...

BRIDGE

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Devastating Andrew Robson MICHAEL MATES, Conservative MP and ex-minister for Northern Ireland, and his son James, the television reporter, were in opposition on this week's...

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Brasserie Ma Cuisine, HaslemEre, Surrey 'z4 Robert Hardman

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A FORMER tandoori by a zebra crossing in Surrey is not where you would expect to find an authentic little corner of France. Most Frenchmen who want to open a restaurant across...

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SPECTATOR WINE CLUB

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A toast to General Pinochet Auberon Waugh EL VINO produced such excellent red wines this time, and so generously reduced in price, that on this occasion I decided to overlook...

ORDER FORM SPECTATOR WINE CLUB

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COMPETITION

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World-beater Jaspistos IN COMPETITION NO. 2100 you were invited to supply an imaginary newspaper account of a new and bizarre feat which has won entry in The Guinness Book of...

CHESS

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Lottery Raymond Keene IN SPITE OF the impressive prize fund lavished on it, which ran to several million dollars, FIDE's version of the world cham- pionship in Las Vegas has...

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No. 2103: M'Iud. . .

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Recently, a motorist was reprimanded by the police for wearing wellington boots filled with baked beans in tomato sauce while driv- ing. Assuming that he had to appear in court,...

Solution to 1426: On the line

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Mar priiiNig neldrili3 iirl A N Nri CI D de VAIO RIM r DU 'b 1 1113111E papriopia illarliOnarlil'E 0 RnonAnio D m11nn 13 ....■ ro N D Arliritha0 N pin 12 111 11MidElm...

W. & GRAHAM ' S

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PORT CROSSWORD A first prize of £30 and a bottle of Graham's Six Grapes Port for the first correct solution opened on 20 September, with two run- ners-up prizes of £20 (or,...

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SPECTATOR SPORT

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A Ruud awakening Simon Barnes THE main thing wrong with Ruud Gullit's life was the way people kept recognising him. That was the message he gave the world when he resigned as...

YOUR PROBLEMS SOLVED

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Dear Mary.. . Q. I have met a young lady and discovered that we have a mutual friend. This lady and I decided it would be nice to spend an evening with our friend, as she is...